I now know what true fear is. It's not a collapsing building, or a fire chasing you out of a building. I've been through both and let me tell you it's nothing compared to the fear of knowing your wife and baby are going to die. Oh they keep telling me to be strong, that Jesse is young and has excellent doctors. I kinda laughed at that comment. Her OB was suppose to be "one of the best" but he missed all the signs. Now, I'm left staring out a window, my friends gathered around me, watching me, pitying me. I feel like screaming for all of them to leave, but I can't. If I try to speak I know I'll cry. I've wrapped my arms around myself so no one will see me shaking. Dam it is so quiet except for the
occasional sniffles from JoAnne.

Through the reflection of the window I can see Brackett enter the room. I know that look, I've seen it enough times. The unflappable Kel Brackett reduced to platitudes about what went wrong.

He passes everyone in the room and comes up behind me. This is it. Please God I can't survive if it's bad news, I don't want to live if I don't have Jess.

I can feel hand on my shoulder.

"Johnny," Kel Brackett's voice is so soft and full of emotion I hardly recognize it. "We need to talk John."

No one calls me John unless it's serious, it's kind of an unwritten rule.

I turn around and notice everyone leaning forward in their seats. Roy is on his was over to me. "Is she dead?"

"No, Jess is still alive. We delivered the baby by C-section, it's a boy."

I noticed how he didn't say that Jess would be okay. Or that the baby was fine. It wasn't what he said but what he didn't say that spoke volumes.

I put my hand up, "Doc I need to know everything. Don't sugar coat or spare me the details. When I left for work this morning Jess was fine. I felt the baby move." That was it my voice cracked and the tears started to fall. "Dammit she only had two weeks to go. What the hell happened? Please tell me why am I going to loose them?" I felt Roy wrap an arm around my shoulders. I turned into the hug and let my head fall on Roy's shoulders.

Brackett gave me a moment. "Johnny are you okay to listen? "

I nodded and wiped at my eyes. "Go ahead."

"When the guys brought Jess in her blood pressure was 240 over 180 and she couldn't stop vomiting. We performed an emergency c-section. Right now Jess is in very serious condition. Her platelet count is very low. We had to entubate her for the section, unfortunately when we extubated we realized her lungs had filled with fluid. As we were suctioning her lungs she went into respiratory arrest. We were unable to re-entubate----we had to perform a tracheotomy." Brackett let me absorb the information before continuing. "John she's in intensive care. I'm sorry but our tests indicate that most of her major organs are failing--liver, kidneys and her lungs. I'm so sorry."

Brackett actually choked back a sob as he finished. A stared at him. I began to feel my legs buckle. Roy guided me to the floor. JoAnne flew to my side. JoAnne cradled me in her arms and cried with me. Roy wrapped his around me and gave in to his tears too. I screamed and damned God. I cursed and swore to kill Jess's doctor for not preventing all this. Then I said something I never thought I could say, "If she dies I want to die, I can't go on without her. OH GOD take me too." The sobs that followed actually hurt, my throat was so constricted I felt like I couldn't breathe.

JoAnne got herself under control and looked up at Brackett, "The baby, you didn't tell us about the baby?"

Kel knelt next to me and placed his hand on my leg. "Johnny he's a little small--but he looks real good." Kel smiled and squeezed my leg. "Johnny why don't we go see him. Then when Jess is settled in I'll take you to her."

"NO, I don't want to see him without Jess." JoAnne tried to convince me to go see the baby but I couldn't do it.

"Okay Johnny, we'll wait til you're ready." JoAnne said trying to give me a reassuring smile.

It was a few minutes more until I was able to get off the floor. I stumbled and felt someone grab me.

"I gotcha John," Chet said.

I still didn't have all the details about how Jess ended up at the station or why she was transported to the hospital in the back of Cap's car with the engine leading the way to the hospital, sirens blaring. "Cap what happened? Why was she at the station?" I pleaded. "Please, I have to know."

Over the next hour everyone shared their pieces of information.

"Hey big guy, you better get that butt of yours in gear!" Jess yelled through the bathroom door. "You're going to be late." Jess smiled and went to go downstairs. She stopped suddenly when she felt dizzy. A stabbing pain in her back made her gasp. Taking a deep breathe soon both symptoms passed and she continued down the stairs. The dizzy spells and sharp pains had been going on for a few days. When she called the doctor to tell him he had told her it was normal. He told her to drink more
water and stay off her feet. Jess didn't tell Johnny. He would just obsess.

Johnny raced down the stairs ten minutes later. "I'm gonna have to catch breakfast at the station."

"Just drive carefully, okay. Don't race." Jess kissed Johnny on the cheek.

"Oh no my darling that won't hold me for twenty-four hours." Johnny wrapped his arms around her and gently began kissing her. Jess let him explore every part of her mouth. When Johnny pulled away and opened his eyes he saw hers were still shut. "Do you know just how beautiful you are Jess?"

Jess opened hers and touched her very oversized belly, "Even like this?"

Johnny caressed her belly, "Even more so because of this." He hesitated a moment then continued, "Now stay off your feet and take it easy."

"Yes Daddy," Jess said pouting.

Once Johnny was gone Jess went about her business. Picking up the house, laundry, and other chores. By midmorning she had a killer headache. Jess slowly and carefully made her way to the couch and sat down. Looking at her hands she saw that they were very swollen. Lifting her nightgown she saw that her ankles were also swollen. "This can't be right." Jess called her doctor but was told he would have to call her back. Jess figured she'd be going to see him so she changed her clothes and laid down waiting for the doctor to call.

A short time later the doctor called back, "Mrs. Gage it is not unusual to have swollen feet and hands this late in your pregnancy."

"But Doctor this is a lot of swelling."

"Mrs. Gage this is your first pregnancy, it's normal to get overly concerned. But that's why I'm here. Now you just relax, put your feet up and drink plenty of fluids. Goodbye Mrs. Gage." The phone went dead.

Jess looked at the phone, "Drink more fluids. I already drank enough water to sink a ship." Jess took a deep breath and shook her head. She regretted that feeling the headache intensify. Holding either side of her head, "This is bullshit. This can't be normal." Jess dialed another number.

"Good Afternoon Rampart emergency, Miss McCall speaking."

"Hi Dixie, it's Jess."

Dixie could tell immediately something was wrong. Jess's voice lacked energy. "Jess you alright?"

"Yeah, I--um--Dix could I come in and have someone look at me?"

"Jess you don't sound right. What's wrong?"

"I noticed some swelling in my hands and feet. My doctor said to lay down and drink water. I've been doing that, it's not better. I just want to talk to some other doctor. I maybe overly concerned, but ---well--oh I don't know.

"No problem Jess. I'll call one the doctors I know to check you out. When can you be here? Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah I can drive. Hey if you see Johnny don't tell him okay. He'll go nuts. I should be there in about 30 minutes, okay?"

"Jess drive carefully. Better yet I can send an ambulance."

"Oh no you don't. An ambulance for swollen feet. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Okay see you in a bit," Dix hung up the phone and called OB. As soon as Jess arrived Dixie herself was going to escort her upstairs. Dixie missed having Jess around. But by her fifth month Jess' doctor order her to take it easy. Morning sickness was a constant and wore Jess out. So, Jess had quit her job.

Jess left the house a few minutes later. The bright sunlight hurt her eyes terribly, causing her head to pound.

* * * *

Johnny was about to take a bite of a sandwich when...

# # #SQUAD 51 WOMAN TRAPPED---253 WEST MAIN---TIME
OUT 12:43# #

Roy and Johnny headed out after Captain Stanely acknowledged the call. Johnny and Roy arrived at the address and found a woman who's arm was wedged in the toilet bowl. After a shared rolling of the eyes they proceeded with the "rescue".

"Ma'am, <cough-laugh> why did you put your arm down there?" Johnny desperately hung on to his professional demeanor.

The woman was kneeling on the floor with her right hand and arm in the toilet. The toilet was positioned between the wall and the tub. "My ring fell off as I was cleaning. I thought I could get
it."

"Don't worry ma'am will get you out." Roy may have sounded confident but this was not going to be easy.

The woman was large the space small. First they pulled gently on the arm. No luck. Soap was added to the remaining water no luck.

"Ah Roy can I talk to you a sec," Johnny waved for Roy to join him on the other side of the bathroom. Johnny used his hand to muffle what he was saying so the woman wouldn't hear. "I think we need to take the toilet apart."

Roy looked back at the woman. "Johnny one of us is going to have to --uh--um straddle her to get to it."

"I just don't see any other way," Johnny was not anxious to be the straddler. "You're older. You do it."

Roy shot Johnny a look, "Why does that make a difference?"

"You ---well--such a nice clean cut kinda older guy. You know?"

"Oh I get to do this because my hair is shorter than yours?" Roy looked back at the woman's derriere taunting him. "YOU OWE ME BIG."

Johnny patted Roy on the back and smiled, "Thanks Roy." He then went out to the squad to get the tools.

* * * *

As Jess drove to the hospital the pains intensified. Her head felt like it might explode. Jess hung onto the wheel. She knew she wouldn't make it to the hospital so headed to the station. "Oh Johnny please be there."

As Jess approached the station the bay door was open. The spot the squad normally occupied was empty. Jess drove up the drive and right into the bay. Jess slammed on the horn.

Hank heard the sound of a car then the horn from the bay and came out of his office.

The guys were playing basket ball out back. When they heard the horn from the bay they went to investigate.

When Hank opened the door he recognized the car. "Sweet Jesus." Hank ran around to the drivers door and opened it. Jess fell into his arms. "Jess, Jess what's wrong?"

Jess could barely talk through the pain, "Hurts, oh god, hurts."

Chet, Marco and Mike came around the car just in time to see Jess fall into Hank's arms. Mike spun around and called in a still alarm. He asked that a squad be dispatched to the station. He was told it would be at least ten minutes.

Mike shared the information with his captain. "Mike call rampart, Chet get some blankets. Marco help me straighten her out." Each man attended to his task. Mike dragged Caps office phone into the bay.

"Rampart wants vitals," Mike instructed.

Cap took her pulse. He didn't like the accelerated rate. "Chet what are you getting for a BP?"

Chet was palpating the BP. He had a confused look on his face. "Cap I think I'm doing it wrong--I got something in the 200s."

Cap then palpated the BP. He grimaced. Chet had done it right. Jess was crying and moaning. "My head, god, it feels like it's gonna split open." Her hand grabbed hold of Chet's shirt.

Chet ran his hand up and down Jess' arm. "You'll be okay." Chet then saw her arm. "Cap?" Chet nodded to Jess' arm. Cap saw the veins throbbing through her skin.

Cap rose and went to tell rampart the details.

Kel Brackett listened as Dixie stood close by. Mike had told them who the patient was. Kel shook his head and pounded his pen on the counter, "Hank she can't wait --GET HER IN HERE NOW."

"It's bad isn't cap?" Mike asked.

Hank ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, come on."

Chet and Marco were doing their best to calm Jess down. Hank got out his car keys. "Marco go get my car bring it around. Mike you're gonna lead the way in the engine--lights and sirens."

As soon as Hank's car was brought around the men carefully slid Jess into the bay of the station wagon. Marco drove. Hank and Chet sat on either side of Jess who was now unconscious.

Mike took one last look at Jess then slammed the hatch on the station wagon. Mike climbed into the engine and started to pull out. Lights and sirens blared. Mike then thought of one more thing that needed to be done. He contacted dispatch and asked to have Roy call the hospital. They would be able to let Roy know what was going on with Jess and get Johnny there.

* * * *

"Ma'am we're going to have to take you and the toilet bowl outside and break it to get you free. Okay?" Johnny asked smiling.

"Sweety, at this point I don't care if you have to break down a wall. Just get this dam thing off of me."

"Okay, Roy let's move her out."

Roy and Johnny slid the bowl off it's bolts then lifted. Three people and one toilet bowl exited the house and walked to the driveway.

"Squad 51" Roy's HT beeped.

"Squad 51?" Roy answered after lowering the bowl.

"Squad 51-Desoto contact Rampart at your convenience."

Roy didn't like it. This wasn't procedure. "Squad 51 10-4. Ma'am can I use your phone?"

"Oh of course," The lady answered. "I hope everything is alright."

Roy trotted off towards the house without answering. Johnny watched Roy leave and hoped everything was fine also.

Johnny turned his attention back to the woman. "Well, ready to have me break this thing and free you?"

"Young man smash this thing to pieces, please."

Johnny laughed slightly and using a hammer broke the bowl away.

* * * *

"Rampart Hospital- Emergency Room....."

"Dixie it's Roy I was told to call....."

"Roy it's Jess."

"She's in labor?" Roy asked smiling.

Dixie knew she was about to ask Roy to do something no one should have to do. "Roy you got to get Johnny here..."

Roy realized Dixie's voice trembling, "Dix...something's wrong ...isn't it?"

"Roy she's being brought in---Kel thinks it could be extremely serious."

Roy looked out the window and saw Johnny laughing with the woman holding up a piece of the toilet. "We're on our way. Dix the baby?"

"Roy ---I just don't know."

"Okay bye."

Roy closed his eyes and quickly asked God to watch over his friend's family.

"Hey Roy her arm is fine, " Johnny called seeing Roy come from the house. The somber look on Roy's face concerned him. "Hey, man what's wrong? Was that call about Jo and the kids?" Johnny had walked over to Roy, "They're alright aren't they?"

Roy look at the concern In Johnny's eyes. "John I just talked to Dixie. It's Jess she's on her way to Rampart."

Johnny smiled slightly, "The baby's coming?"

Roy didn't know how to answer. Dixie was vague about what the problem might be, but there was a problem.

"Roy? Oh, God something's wrong with Jess and the baby," Johnny grabbed Roy's shoulders.

The woman watched the exchange between the two men. "Go, don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Roy?"

"I don't know John, Dixie didn't say. Let's just go!" Roy took hold of Johnny's hand and pulled, "Come on." Silently Johnny followed along.


The ride to rampart was quiet. Johnny knew immediately that whatever information Dixie had told Roy was bad when Roy hit the lights and sirens. Johnny had looked at Roy a few times but Roy didn't look back.

Roy knew he should say something, be encouraging. But he still could her the tremble in Dixie's voice as she said that Jess' condition was "extremely serious."

"Roy I'm scared." Johnny whispered. His elbows were on his knees and his fingers interlocked, his eyes shut. "I can't loose her..."

"Johnny Ramparts got the best people. Jess is in good hands." Roy gripped Johnny `s shoulder.

They sped into the ambulance bay and saw engine 51. "What are they doing here?" Then a horrible thought jumped into both men's minds.

"Oh god Roy she's dead. That's why they're here."

"Easy, easy," Roy knew Captain Stanely would have stood the station down if something had happened to Jess. But they would have come in their own cars. "NO, maybe they were dispatched to .....I don't know --come on." Roy had gotten out of the squad and gone to Johnny's door.

The two men quickly went inside.

* * * *

"Get me a neonatal unit for 1 and make it stat," the nurse called leaning out the door of treatment 1.

Johnny and Roy saw people rushing in and out of treatment one. Against the stairway doors stood Cap, Mike, Chet and Marco.

"Get a crash cart for 1, NOW."

Johnny rushed to Cap, "Where's Jess?" Johnny saw all their eyes look at treatment 1. Johnny's eyes grew wide and he dashed to the door, "Jess," Cap and Mike caught him, "Let me go, Jess." Johnny struggled against the men holding them back.

Chet got in front of Johnny, "YOU CAN'T JOHN--THEY NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HER."

"CHET TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON," Johnny turned and looked at each one of his friends. He choked down his emotions, "Please help me."

Chet was overwhelmed by what was happening. He knew Johnny hadn't noticed that he and Cap were wearing scrubs. Johnny didn't need to know just yet that Jess had begun violently vomiting on the way in and the pain filled screams in between that accompanied the vomiting. Chet swallowed hard.

"Johnny, Jess is here now." Chet almost didn't recognize his own voice. So, calm and the tone was deeper than his normal voice. "You need to concentrate on being calm. I'm sure they'll be here in a minute to let you know what's going on."

Johnny stared at Chet, something in Chet's tone allowed him to center himself.

* * * **

In treatment 1 no one was calm. Dixie was using every ounce of her being to maintain her control.

Brackett was alternating between anger and fanaticism to save this vibrant, and wonderful new friend.

"Blood pressure is 240 over 180," A nurse called out before Jess vomited again.

"Dix get some mag sulfate into her. She's gonna start seizing if we don't get that pressure down," Brackett called out. Switching voices he tried talking to Jess, "Jess, it's Kel. Do you hear me?" Glazed eyes blinked. "Jess were going to have to do a c- section." Jess squeezed her eyes shut and Kel wiped away the tears. "Listen the baby's fine so far, and the sooner he's out the better." Jess was unconscious. "I want to talk to her doctor, this doesn't happen overnight."

Quickly the staff got all the things together for the c-section. The OB doctor performed the surgery quickly. The scarring would be extensive but now was not the time to worrying about that. The surgery was extremely risky in and of itself. Jess' platelet count was very low. Her body interpreted her high blood pressure as an injured liver and rushed platelets there to fix it. This was clogging her liver causing massive swelling of her body.

Once the baby was delivered pediatricians took over his care. Baby Gage was rushed in his neonatal incubator up the pediatrics.

"Kel I have her doctor," Dix said holding out the phone.

Kel took it. He quickly explained the situation. Kel questioned the man about when he last spoke to Jess and what happened during his last visit. Dixie watched Kel's face getting red.

Then he exploded, not shouting, but it was very evident if that doctor had been in the room they would need another trauma team.

Dixie never got to ask what the doctor had said. The other doctors in the room were shouting. Jess lungs were filling with fluid so fast they couldn't suction fast enough. Respiratory arrest. The battle was far from won.

* * * *

Johnny had been unwilling to leave the lobby. But five strong friends finally managed to get him into the lounge. Dix had called JoAnne as soon as they got the first report from Captain Stanely. When she entered the ER she saw all the commotion, but not the guys. Jo saw the doctors whisk a tiny frail infant from treatment 1 to the elevators and probably up to pediatrics. Going to the lounge she quietly entered. Roy saw her and went to her.

Whispering, "Out in the hall," Roy pushed Jo back into the hall. Cap followed them.

Roy explained what he knew to Jo. Then Captain Stanely explained how Jess turned up at the station and the mad dash to the hospital. Roy and Jo now understood why Cap was in scrubs. They heard voices getting louder and looked down the hall. They were wheeling Jess out of treatment 1.

Roy swallowed hard. Cap closed his eyes and dropped his head. Jo turned away. There was so much blood and Jess was totally grey. The nurses and doctors were covered it blood and vomitus. The elevator doors closed and Brackett and Dixie stared at the closed doors for a moment. Brackett and Dixie hugged. Dixie started to cry.

After a moment Kel, tapped Dix's shoulder, "We need to talk to everyone." He motioned to the threesome who were watching them.

"Yeah," Dixie wiped at her eyes.

They walked over the Roy, Jo and Cap.

"What happened? Johnny said she was fine this morning," Roy's voice cracked and was slightly higher pitched.

Kel ran his hand through his hair, "She wasn't fine. Hasn't been. But a stupid insensitive doctor missed all the signs."

"Signs of what?" Cap said

"Preeclampsia, toxemia, basically her body turned against itself. Jess complained about the swelling in her feet and hands but the damn doctor didn't run any tests. Then at her last visit she had an elevated BP and still he didn't do a dam thing." Brackett took a breath, "Jess even called him this morning and he dismissed her concerns."

Dix then explained her conversation with Jess from that morning.

Roy listened intently. "If Jess hadn't come in?"

"Chances are she and the baby would be dead now," Kel Brackett said.

"How is the baby?" Cap asked

"Well, he's small and had some problems breathing on his own, but he seemed to be improving.," Dixie said

"Is Jess.....I mean.....," Roy couldn't and didn't want to put his thoughts into words.

Kel understood, "Jess is in very bad shape. There's not much more her body can take." Kel swallowed, "I doubt she can last the night."

Roy's eyes filled with tears and he breathed deeply to try not to cry. Jo grabbed him and hugged him. Cap was also loosing his battle to control the tears.

Cap excused himself, saying he had phone calls to make.

Kel looked at himself and realized there was no way he could talk to Johnny in his present state. So, he went to quickly change.

Dixie had one last task to do before she also would change. "Roy, Jess was wearing this around her neck. Johnny should have it." Dixie took Roy's hand and placed a simple gold chain on his palm. On the chain was Jess' wedding band. "Her hand was too swollen for the ring so she wore it around her neck." Dixie turned and started walking away and giving into her tears.

Roy looked at the simple ring and chain. How could everything that made life so important and special be so simple and small.

When I finally got myself in some semblance of order. I thanked everyone for what they had done for Jess. My friends proved to me once again what a lucky guy I am. Hmmm, luck. Strange how your mind works isn't it. Dixie tried to get me to go see the baby. I can't do it. Seeing him without Jess is like giving up on her. I can't explain it. I always thought we'd be there together to welcome this new life. You know what I mean. The baby is born and placed on the mother. Then Daddy and Mommy look, touch and coo at their precious child. I want that moment with Jess. I want a million more moments with Jess.

Anyway Brackett, Dix, Roy and JoAnne went with me to intensive care when Jess had been settled. Brackett tried to make me understand what I would see but it didn't help.

"John she's very swollen because of what is happening in her liver. Luckily she doesn't need a respirator. There is a cardiac monitor..."

"Doc I know all this. Just let me see her," Johnny said angrily. Brackett nodded and led me in.

My sweat Jess, I didn't even recognize her. Jess' features were so distorted because of the swelling.

Going over to the bed I brushed a kiss on her cheek. "Jess this isn't the way it should be. So, come on, wake up and show them what a fighter you are." Nothing. I settled in on a chair one of the nurses brought in and my vigil began.


The hand I had so often held intertwined with mine was so swollen it was larger than mine. Her black hair was a mess. Her eyes were so puffy it looked like she'd been cryin' for a week. How soon were my eyes going to look like that? I had to shake that thought from my head.

Nurses came and went over the next few hours. I got to hating the looks I was getting. Roy came in and said I needed to eat. Man he can be stubborn. JoAnne stayed with Jess.

* * * * *

"Here, it's a tuna sandwich. Eat it," Roy said placing the tray in front of Johnny.

"Roy I don't......"

"You will eat," Roy took Johnny's hand and put the sandwich in it. "EAT."

Looking at the sandwich Johnny quietly said, "She's going to die."

Roy knew what was coming by the expression on his face. "Johnny it looks bad. But she's still hanging on. Don't give up on her."

Johnny didn't look at Roy, "Do you remember what she said to JoAnne after the wedding when JoAnne and you were about to leave?"

Roy thought for a moment, "No, I'm sorry, I don't."

"She told Jo she never believed she could be so happy," Johnny sighed. "Her whole life has been a series of .... and now when Jess should be...." Johnny hung his head and tried breathing deeply to control his emotions.

Roy just watched for a moment, then speaking softly, "Johnny, I remember how happy you made her. And I plan on telling that boy of yours about what happened on your wedding day. I think I'll start a new tradition. Every year on your anniversary I'm going to take your kids aside and embarrass the hell out of you and Jess."

"Roy, Jess will kill you."

"Well, it'll be worth it. Now eat." Roy began rubbing his chin. "What story would I start with? Maybe how Jess looked radiant coming up the aisle of the little chapel. Everybody smiling at her. Then she broke into a run." Roy started laughing. "Jo was in hot pursuit. Jess ran right out the backdoor and threw up."

"Hey she had morning sickness, whaddya expect," Johnny took a bite of the sandwich, "She came back you know." Johnny smiled, "And as soon as she walked back in Jess yelled, `shut up Chet'. Man the laughter." Johnny took another bite, "I almost lost it when she walks up next to me. Now here's the preacher all disgusted and what does Jess do--She gave him one of her biggest smiles, wipes her mouth, looks at her dress and says, `hey didn't get any on me.' I thought the preacher was going to
pass out."

Roy was pleased to see Johnny eating. Jess was beautiful that day. "I gotta say she made a beautiful bride. I remember Jo saying how with Jess' black hair and skin color she would be striking in white. But, she still blew me away."

"Jess wasn't sure if wearing white was `appropriate' considering her condition. I told her who gave a dam, get the dress that every little girl dreams of."

Roy pushed the glass of milk at Johnny, "I think the western style tux you wore was bait for the phantom."

"Nah, it went with Jess' dress. She had that peasant thing going." Johnny looked at the milk, "The way it just hung off her shoulders, that flounce. Jess said the white eyelet was pretty and simple. It hugged her in all the right places." The smiled fell from Johnny's face. "I want to hug her again."

"You will, maybe when she's all better we can do another roasted pig."

"What?" Johnny laughed a little, " Jess couldn't believe it was a whole pig."
"I mean when the caterer said roasted pig. We thought ready to serve. When Jess saw that thing on the spit --head and all--in our front yard, well I knew I had better hang back."

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad." Roy raised his brow, "Once the kids stopped screaming and we ordered pizza for them."

"if Chet hadn't kept making pig noises they would've been fine. He's even been sending Jess children's books with pig themes---Three Little Pigs, oh and the other day, when Jess called, he started with `This little piggy went to market'...you know that stupid rhyme, I had the yank the phone from his hand."

Roy enjoyed seeing Johnny relax a little even though it was only a brief reprieve. Soon they were on their way back up to Jess.

* * * *

"Excuse me, can I see the Gage baby," the man said.

The nurse looked up and saw a stranger with the hospital chaplain. The chaplain nodded. So, the nurse took them to see the baby. Over the next couple of minutes several Polaroid pictures were taken of the baby.

"Their for his parents," The man explained. "He, the baby is doing okay?"

The nurse smiled, "Yes he's doing very well. Now we just got to get his mommy all better."

The man looked at the pictures, "These might give her something to fight for." The man and the chaplain left.

* * * * * *

JoAnne had been asked to leave Jess' room for a short while so the nurses could take care of some procedures.

Roy and Johnny met up with her as she came out to the ladies room. "Well, you look a little better." JoAnne commented to Johnny.

"Yeah, still scared as sin though."

"Johnny she's fighting to stay, don't you give up."

As they entered Jess' room they were astonished. They were about twenty Polaroid pictures of the baby in the room. A nurse who still held one handed Johnny a note. "Don't look at me. This guy handed me the pictures and said hang them up so Jess could see them when she woke up."

Johnny took the note and opened it. Roy and JoAnne leaned over Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny,
I just thought this little guy should be the first thing Jess sees when she wakes up. Oink, oink


Johnny walked around the room and looked closely at each picture. This was the first time he'd seen the baby. "God, he's beautiful." Taking down one of the pictures he went to Jess's bedside. "Jess look what we made. Don't you want to see him, touch him, come on Jess open those eyes. Look at our boy."

You know the saying about if you do something nice it'll come back to you in ten fold-or something like that. Well, I learned about it first hand from the other firefighters I had worked with. I knew there was no way in hell I was leaving Jess' side until.....when she woke up. But because I had already used up so much leave time, I didn't know what I was going to do. Well, I should have realized someone else would figure it out for me.

Marco and Mike had started making phone calls the moment Brackett shared Jess' grim prognosis. They didn't tell anyone what they were doing. I could never imagined what happened when late into the night on Jess' second day in the hospital I was paid a visit by Chief McConnikee and Captain Stanely.

* * *

Hearing the door open to Jess' room Johnny turns to see Captain Stanely standing there, "Cap, you can come in."

"Actually John I would like to speak to you out here," Captain Stanely whispered.

Johnny kissed Jess' hand, " I'll be back in a minute Jess." Johnny stood and went out into the hall.

Several fellow firefighters were there. Johnny knew most of them. He'd traded shifts with a few over the years. There in the center was Chief McConnikee.

The chief cleared his throat, "First John I'd like to say you have the prayers of everyone in the department for your wife to have a quick recovery. Also, congratulations on the birth of your son."

"Th-thank you sir."

"Now as to why we're here," The chief waved his arm to indicate the group. "We know that you are going to be spending your time here at the hospital. Rightfully so. I was notified this afternoon that until otherwise notified a list of men will be filling in for you on your shift. Some have also volunteer to take DeSoto's place seeing that --well you're family."

Johnny lowered his head and raised it slowly, "That's nice of them, I just hope it won't be necessary for too long. I'm gonna owe some serious payback time." Johnny shrugged. Though this was great it would mean having to make up the time and be away from Jess and the baby. That is if Jess pulled though.

"Johnny you don't understand. This is not expected to be repaid. They wouldn't hear of it. They volunteered their time. They don't want you to have to miss being there for Jess and the baby." The chief watched as Johnny finally understood. "As a matter of fact the list of men is quite long. Many of them mentioned how you took shifts for them to be with their family's at holiday time. So, you just worry about Jess and that baby, everything else is being taken care of."

"Chief who started all this? I'm grateful and want to thank the right people."

Captain Stanely wrapped an arm around Johnny, "Well, it started with Marco and Mike but then someone else asked to handle all the details of scheduling?"

Wondering who would take on such a tedious task Johnny asked, "Who?"

Stanely smiled, "Brice."

The look on Johnny's face made the others laugh.

"Thanks, Cap, Chief, I got to get back to Jess." Johnny entered Jess' room and once the door was shut. Covered his face with his hands. Then speaking to the heavens, "Oh Mom you were so right. We reap what we sow." He cried.

* * * *

By the third day Jess's blood work looked better. Brackett wasn't happy about the very limited urine output or the fact Jess still hadn't moved. But I could detect a slightly more optimistic tone to his voice.

JoAnne and Dixie said I needed to go see my boy. I just couldn't do it . I felt like scum for not going but I couldn't. I found out later JoAnne and Dix spent many hours with him. The doctors were telling me he could go home in a couple of days. I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed to be with Jess. I knew Jo would help watch the baby, but she had her own kids. Soon again I found out what special people I had in my life. Dix arranged a leave for herself to take care of the baby. I'm surrounded by blessings of friends and family. Now if only I could be blessed with having Jess back.

* * * *

"This is ridiculous, he needs to see this boy," Dixie said rocking the small infant on the fourth day after his birth.

JoAnne stood close by, "He's very adamant about not seeing him."

"Well if the mountain won't go to Mohammed....." Dixie looked down at the little face with the big brown eyes and the full head of dark hair. "Let's go see Poppa."

JoAnne added, "And Momma."

* * * **

"Johnny I'm pleased with the tests results of the tests we've run today. Even her urine output is going up. Platelets and liver enzymes are normalizing." Brackett said standing at the foot of Jess's bed.

"Doc will she wake up soon?" Roy asked standing outside of Jess' room.

Johnny looked over to Roy and then to Brackett.

"I don't know Johnny. Jess still has a lot of healing to do. Her body is just not ready to handle anything else right now. I'm sorry I can't be any more helpful."

* * * *

Here I am standing in the hallway listening to Brackett update me on Jess' condition and then I hear a tiny cry. I look over and see my baby in Dixie's arms. I want to be angry but can't. Roy and I went over to Dixie. I remember hearing somewhere that a mother will hear the cry of her baby no matter what she's doing. Well, I learned that day it can even mean when the Mom is laying in intensive care.

* * * *

"Dix you shouldn't have brought him down here, " Johnny said getting a closer look at his boy.

Dixie smiled, "Well then Poppa you take him back up to that nursery." Dixie then put the child in Johnny's arms.

"But, hey," Johnny's little one started to really wail. "Shh, shh, Dix?"

"Oh no, you're the Poppa, Poppa," Dixie said putting her hands up.

* * * *

The nurse checking Jess' IV noticed Jess start to move her head. "Mrs. Gage, can you hear me?"

Jess moved her hand over her stomach. Her heart rate increased. Her head rolled faster side to side. The nurse wasn't sure why Jess was getting to agitated. "Mrs. Gage you've got to calm down." Jess continued to rub her hand over her stomach and she started to cry. The nurse went to get Dr. Brackett.

"Excuse me, Doctor. Mrs. Gage is coming around."

Johnny quickly handed the baby back to Dix and was gone before anyone could comment.

When he entered the room Johnny could see how upset Jess was. "Jess it's Johnny. You're okay. Honey calm down."

Brackett, Roy and Dixie entered the room.

"Jess, please calm down," Johnny was pleading with Jess who's eyes were still shut. She was crying. and moaning.

"Doc help her please?" Johnny turned to Brackett for help.

The baby was still crying in Dixie's arms.

""B-b-b-baby" It was so quiet at first, it couldn't be heard over the infant's wail.

Dixie saw Jess' hand moving over her stomach, "Johnny take the baby to her. Jess doesn't know the baby's alright." Dixie handed the baby to Johnny. Then she pointed out what Jess was doing, "Look she's touching her belly and realizing the baby is gone."

"M-my b-b-baby," The heart monitor's rhythm sped up.

Johnny started trembling thinking about what Jess must be thinking. "I'm here Jess. Come on open your eyes. I got someone who wants to meet you."

Johnny cradled the baby next to Jess' face. The infant's face touched Jess'. Jess turned her head towards the baby. Jess immediately calmed. Slowly her eyes opened. Jess looked from the baby to Johnny, "My baby?"

"Yes Jess, this is your, our baby," Johnny said softly.

JoAnne cupped her hands over her nose and mouth and started to cry. Roy wrapped his arm around her waist. Though Brackett wanted to examine Jess, he waited.

The baby's hand touched Jess' face, she smiled. Seeing the face of her baby she started to cry. "He's alright?"

"Oh god Jess, yes he's fine. You will be too."

"Johnny you're crying?" Jess was still just waking up. "I thought I heard the baby cry?" Jess rubbed her nose against the baby's face. "He needs his Momma."

"We both need you Jess."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jess said smiling slightly. "Hey Roy, why are you crying?"

"Jess you rest. I'm sure Dr. Brackett wants a look at you," Johnny stood to move out of the way.

"No, you, baby stay," Jesse said trying to move. Her heart rate jumped again.

Brackett motioned for Johnny to stay, "I'll just work around you."

Roy and JoAnne quietly slipped out of the room. "Roy I think she's going to be okay," JoAnne said blowing her nose.

"I think so too," Roy took Jo's hand and kissed it. "Did I ever thank you for all you went through for our babies?"

JoAnne smiled, "Roy it was my pleasure."

* * *

Over the next few days Jess got stronger. If she was awake she demanded the baby be in the room with her. No one argued.

The day of Jess' release. It looked more like the rose parade. Nurses and student nurses had their arms full of flowers and balloons. Johnny steered the wheelchair. Jess sat holding her son. Everyone was laughing at the show. Jess had insisted they exit though the ER. She wanted to give the flowers to the staff that had saved her and the baby.

Brackett and Dixie were the recipients of the largest grouping of flowers. Dr. Joe Early made a point of saying how lovely Kel looked holding the flowers.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Gage," the man said.

Jess saw the man and stopped laughing. Jess had to grab Johnny's hand as he was about to pound the man into the ground. "No Johnny, don't. " Jess adjusted the baby in her arms. "Dr. I've nothing to say to you. But I intend on speaking to everyone who will listen about what a horrible doctor you are."

Jess former OB. Looked properly indignant at her remarks. "Mrs. Gage, I do regret what happened."

Jess noted it wasn't an apology.

"But sometimes Mrs. Gage doctors do make mistakes."

"MISTAKES, Listen you ..." Johnny felt Jess pull him back.

"Mistakes, is that what you call using a demeaning tone and hanging up on a patient that calls you for help? Or maybe because you see so many pregnant woman you just aren't interested in what you interpret as their petty concerns any more." Jess looked the man up and down.

"Mrs. Gage I'm sure you can understand that at the time your concerns could seem minor."

"You just don't get it do you." At each word Jess' voice got deeper. "Let me spell it out for you. It's all well and good you can stand there and rattle off what might've beens, and offer excuses to ease your conscience. " She took a deep breath, "But you weren't the one doing the dying." Jess waited a moment before continuing, "Maybe you need to stand at death's door or maybe someone you love does before you truly understand what you did and the agony you caused my family. But doctor I won't wish that on you. Because no matter how much I'd love to see how you'd handle it , I'm a better human being than that. Now, get the hell out of our way--I'm going home with my baby today, no thanks to you."

Johnny patted Jess' shoulder and winked at her. "I love you."

Jess smiled, "I love you too, now let's go home."

Everyone walked past the doctor. Jess had said all that needed to be said. However the looks the doctor got, made him want to melt into the floor.

Kel Brackett tapped the doctors shoulder, "One more thing, I do believe Jess said just about everything that needed to be said except for one thing. I will be contacting the AMA about your neglectful treatment of Jess." Brackett walked away.

Dixie was the last one standing with the doctor. "I'm not a better person." With that she slammed her high heeled pump into the doctor's foot. "Now that felt good. Always loved these shoes." Dixie walked away ignoring the doctor's call for someone to help him.

No one rushed to his aid.

The End