She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her

Chapter One

Dixie McCall smiled as she slowly opened her eyes. She had been having the best dream and didn't want to wake up, but the constant pounding in her head made her open her eyes. The smile left her face as she took in her surroundings. 'Where am I?' She asked her self. Shifting, she felt a pain in her middle back just below her right shoulder blade. A moan escaped as she moved again.

A dark haired man was sitting on a chair beside the bed. He had been asleep when he heard the moan. He stood up and walked to the bed. "Shh, it's all right. I'm going to go get Dr. B then I'll be right back." The man left the room after giving Dixie's hand a soft squeeze.

Dix smiled at that. She hadn't heard that particular person say that name in a long time. She sighed and closed her eyes again. Her head had started pounding harder. She had just started dozing when she felt her left hand picked up and some one taking her pulse. Opening her eyes she smiled again.

"Hello." Dr. Kelly Brackett said with a warm smile. "Welcome back."

The dark haired man came over to the bed and started softly talking. "I'm so sorry, Dix. It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have had you in the car. I'm so sorry."

"Now, Johnny, there'll be none of that." Brackett chastised the younger man.

"I'm sorry." John Gage sat down on the chair he'd spent most of the past twenty hours sitting in. He dropped his head and sighed. "I should have checked the brakes." Were his last words before he sighed. Standing he turned and left the room. "I really am sorry."

Dixie looked at Kel. "What's he talking about?"

"What do you remember about yesterday afternoon?" Kel asked the nurse.

"I remember Johnny picking me up here to take me shopping then home. My car's in the shop and Johnny offered to drive me....." She faded off as her headache worsened and the memory returned. "Oh, Kel."

"I know, Dix. Scared the shit out of me." Kel was referring to the accident that Johnny and Dixie had been involved in the prior afternoon. "You want me to go find our wayward paramedic?"

"Please." Dixie said. "Then maybe you can tell me why I hurt so bad."

Kel walked out of the room. He looked up and down the hall, sighing, he headed for the men's room. "I know you're in here, Gage. Best come out now."

Johnny stepped out of the stall he'd been hiding in. "I'm in trouble, huh?"

"No, John. You're not in trouble. Not with me or Dixie anyway." Kel led the younger man out into the hall. "Dix wants you there when I tell her what all's wrong and I think you need to hear this too."

"Okay, Doctor." John fell into step behind Kel. He didn't look around as he walked. He just followed with his head down.

2:40 the previous afternoon

"Thanks again for picking me up, Johnny." Dixie said as she got into Johnny's Land Rover. "This is nice."

Johnny blushed. "Thanks, Dix." He put the truck into gear and headed out of the parking lot.

"Why, John Gage." Dixie smiled at the younger man. In the back of her mind was that little voice that always told her that she was too old, too set in her ways. But she rarely listened to that voice.

"What?" Johnny asked in all innocence. He too had that little voice in the back of his mind. Only this one was saying: 'You're way too young, too tall, too skinny, too out of her league.' He always listened to this voice.

"Nothing, Tiger." Dixie turned to look out the side window. She noticed that the clouds were building. It was early December and the weather had been unseasonably warm so a little rain would be more than welcomed to the city dwellers. "Think it's going to rain?"

"Looks like it." Johnny said. He slowed for the traffic light. "We need it. Back when I was a kid, we'd watch the skies this time of year. You never knew when a storm would blow in."

"Where'd you grow up?" Dix asked. She had always wanted to know the private side of John Gage that even his partner of five years didn't know.

"South Dakota." Johnny replied. He then pursed his lips. Dix could almost see Johnny curse himself.

"Sounds like you saw a lot of bad weather in the winter." Dix decided to not say anything about Johnny's look.

"Yeah, we were just outside the Badlands. Lots of snow, wind, ice. I think I went to school more in the summer than I did in the winter because of the snow." Johnny pulled into the grocery store parking lot and parked. "Here you are. You want me to wait here?"

"Why don't you come in with me. Two shop faster than one. Besides, maybe you can give me some ideas for dinners." Dix got out of the car and headed for the entrance of the Ralph's.

"Okay." Johnny pulled the key out of the ignition and got out. Closing the door, he watched Dix as she walked to the entrance. "Man." He adjusted his now too tight jeans and followed the older woman into the store. He watched as Dixie battled with the shopping carts. He giggled as she struggled.

"Get your cute little butt over here and help me." Dixie said as she continued struggling.

"Yes, Ma'am." Johnny giggled some more but went over and helped his friend. "There ya go." He said as he wrestled the stubborn cart out of it's place.

"Thank you." Dixie smiled. "Come along." She beckoned.

Johnny could do nothing but follow. He was so hot and bothered he couldn't even talk to the woman. He'd known her for years and he couldn't remember a time out side of work that he felt this way. He was wondering when he had started falling in love with this woman.

Dixie stopped and turned around. She almost laughed out loud at the site of John Gage standing in the middle of the canned food aisle with his eyes glazed over and his mouth hanging open. She walked over to the younger man and gently pushed his mouth shut. "People are staring." She whispered.

"Wha? Huh?" Johnny came back to the here and now and blushed. "God, I'm so sorry, Dix." He turned around and headed for the exit. He needed to get out, get some air, get some relief. He almost ran into the person pushing more carts into the store in his quest for air.

Dixie frowned. She pushed the cart down the aisle thinking about what had just happened. 'Wonder what that was all about.' She thought as she shopped. Finally, she was finished and standing in the checkout line. Once done, she pushed her cart full of grocery sacks out to the parking lot. She saw Johnny sitting in his Rover with the driver side door propped open with his foot. She looked at the long denim clad leg that ended at a well worn cowboy boot. She shuddered.

Johnny's eyes snapped open when the passenger door opened. "Oh, you're done?"

"Yup. Wanna help me put these in the back?" Dixie smiled.

"Oh, sure." Johnny got out of the vehicle and went to open the back. He put Dixie's bags into the back and slammed the door down. "Where to now?"

"Home." Dixie said. "I'm beat. That was the last place. Thanks for picking up the aquarium. I had my eye on those fish for weeks now. I just knew I wouldn't be able to fit that tank in my little car." Dixie put her head back and closed her eyes. Sighing, she continued speaking. "I just don't know how you handle the hours you work, Johnny. I worked from Eleven last night to ten this morning and I'm beat. I'm sorry you had to wait so long to pick me up. When my car wouldn't start, I had to wait for the tow truck and then that asshole tried to stiff me."

Johnny's breath hitched at hearing his friend talk like that. "What did he try to do?"

"Oh, just tell me that the hook up wasn't covered by my triple A and that I needed to pay the ninety dollars up front. I told him to go blow and that I would be more than happy to call one of his competitors if he didn't hook me up and tow me to the garage." Dixie laughed. "I've never seen a man move that fast before."

Johnny couldn't help it, he laughed. He fell even more in love with Dixie McCall at that moment.

Just as Johnny turned onto the road that led straight to Dixie's apartment complex, Johnny noticed that his brakes were a little sluggish. He pumped them a few times and was satisfied that they would work until he got to a garage to have them looked at. He just finished that thought when he saw the car ahead of him slow down. Pumping the brakes Johnny tried to bring his one ton vehicle to a stop before he hit the truck in front of him. He saw the truck coming up faster than he wanted. He yanked on the emergency brake hoping that would halt their forward momentum. He vaguely remembered looking at Dixie and saying something before they hit the vehicle in front of them.

Johnny sat at the wheel panting. He couldn't believe it. His vehicle had rear ended a pick up truck that had cut off Johnny as he had tried to stop. The impact had slammed Johnny into the steering wheel, but thanks to his seat belt, he'd only made light contact. He looked over at Dixie and saw that she was unconscious. He saw that her belt had some how malfunctioned. "Dixie?" He called out to the unconscious woman.

Dixie moaned a bit but never really regained consciousness. The paramedics arrived and took care of the two passengers.

"Easy there." A male voice said that Johnny felt he should know, but couldn't put a name to.

"Roy?" Johnny asked.

"No, Gage, it's Brice." Craig Brice said as he checked Johnny out. "Do you hurt anywhere?"

"Take care of Dixie, please. It's my fault." Johnny unhooked his seat belt and tried to exit the Rover. "I'm all right."

"No you're not, Gage. Now, sit down." Brice pushed Johnny back into his car and down on the seat. "Let me check you out. Bellingham is taking care of Miss McCall."

Johnny let the darkness come after learning that Dixie was being taken care of. He didn't wake up again until he was at Rampart.

She's got a way of pleasin'
I don't know why it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway

Chapter Two

Roy walked down the hall of the Emergency Department looking for his partner and best friend. He found Johnny sitting in the waiting area looking lost. "Johnny?"

"Roy?" Johnny looked up. "Man, am I glad to see you."

"What happened? Jo said you were in a car accident." Roy sat down next to Johnny.

"Uh, yeah. My brakes failed. I hit a pick up truck. Dixie was with me. She's in there." He pointed towards treatment room three, the trauma room. "She's hurt really bad, Roy."

"Tell me what happened, Junior." Roy spoke quietly knowing that he needed to stay calm to keep Johnny from going manic on him.

"We picked up Dixie's new fish tank at The Pet Shack, it's huge, Roy. A fifty gallon sucker. I put it in the back, you know, folded down the back seat then stuck it in. I didn't think to put it behind the drivers seat. I put it behind the passenger seat. Anyway, we then went to Ralph's so Dix could do her grocery shopping. I'd noticed that my brakes were a little loose, so I thought I'd take a short cut to Dixie's once we got underway. I guess I shouldn't have even tried to drive there. I was no more than three blocks from her complex, Roy. The brakes failed. I tried using the emergency brake, but I just couldn't stop. I guess the tank crashed into the seat Dixie was in and hit her pretty hard. The seat belt didn't work right either."

"So, now we wait? How about you?" Roy took in Johnny's disheveled appearance and started to worry.

"I'm all right. Just hit the steering wheel's 'sall." Johnny sighed and sat back. "I got a fucking ticket too. Man, now I'm in for it. I could loose my license over this, Roy. Then I can't work."

"Maybe we can figure something out." Roy said. He stood and looked around. "I'm going to go get us something to eat. Come on." He pulled Johnny to his feet.

Johnny reluctantly followed Roy to the cafeteria. He picked at the burger and fries Roy got him. "I'm really worried Roy. I mean, she was out cold for so long. I don't even know if she's come to yet."

"We'll find out all we can just as soon as we eat." Roy watched as Johnny picked. Sighing, he drank some of his soda. "Eat, Johnny."

"I can't." Johnny picked up his tray and dumped the contents into the waste can. He at least kept his drink. "I'm going to go see if I can see Dixie."

Roy followed Johnny back to the ER. He smiled when he saw Drs. Early and Brackett come out of the room. "Hi Docs."

Johnny didn't even acknowledge the men, he just walked in to see Dix.

"How is she?" Roy asked.

"A mild concussion, a bruised and sprained back. That aquarium did quite a number on that girl." Joe Early said. "She's a tough broad though."

The three men laughed. "Don't let Johnny hear you call her that. He's liable to slug ya." Roy said.

"True." Kel smiled. "Where is he?"

"Didn't you see him go by?" Roy frowned. "He walked right by you and went into the treatment room."

"Oh." Kel said. "He's taking this pretty hard, Roy."

"I know. He's had too many traffic violations lately too. Looks like he could lose his license." Roy said. "I need to call Cap and see what would happen if he does."

"Okay, Roy. I'll keep an eye on him. Let him know where you are." Kel headed in to talk to Johnny about Dixie.

Johnny came back into the room. He looked at Dixie and couldn't keep his face from crumbling. "I'm so sorry, Dixie."

"Come here, Johnny." Dixie said. She held out a hand beckoning the man to her.

Johnny walked over to the bed and took the hand in his. He pulled it gently to his face and placed a soft kiss on the palm. "I never meant to hurt you, Dixie McCall. Can you see it in your heart to forgive me?"

Dixie couldn't help herself. She started crying. This made Johnny even more uneasy he dropped the hand he was holding and turned around. He silently cried along with Dixie. "I said I was sorry." He mumbled. "Why doesn't anyone believe me?" He then left the room bowling over Roy and Kel in his rush to get out.

"What happened?" Roy asked as he went to Dixie.

"He..I think I caused him to cry." Dix said. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "Kel, can I please sit up?"

"Sure, Dix. But just a bit. Your back has a pretty big bruise on it. It's going to begin hurting once the pain meds wear off. Now, tell me, what happened?"

"Johnny came in and started apologizing again. He was so sad, so upset. I started crying. He crumbled, Kel. He flat out fell totally apart. He turned around and started crying. He said that no one ever believed him when he apologized." Dix felt the tears start again. "Damn him."

"I'll go talk to him." Roy said. He had one more day off until he was back on duty. He knew Johnny wasn't going to be wtih him their next shift due to the injuries Johnny had sustained in he accident.

"Thanks, Roy." Kel and Dix said at the same time.

Roy smiled. "You two have been working together too long." He laughed as he walked out of the room. He saw Johnny standing against the wall across from the room.

"I'm glad you find it funny." He growled.

"I'm not laughing at you, Johnny. I'm laughing at Kel and Dix. Those two have been working together so long that they speak at the same time. That's all. Now, want to tell me why Dixie's upset?" Roy put his arm around Johnny's shoulder and led him to the waiting area.

"I'm sorry, Roy. It seems that all I can do lately is upset people. I need to be alone." Johnny walked down the hall and to the stairwell. He just wanted to get out.

Roy watched Johnny, then headed towards the elevators. He had a fairly good idea where his friend was heading and he planned to head him off at the pass. He entered the elevator and pushed the '1' button. He tapped his foot on the floor as the elevator stopped on two other floors on it's way down. "Come on." He muttered as it finally hit the first floor. Roy pushed his way out of the elevator and just caught a glimpse of Johnny as he went through the doors that led to the ambulance bay. "Damn." Roy had to almost run to catch up to his friend.

Johnny stopped half way through the parking lot. He looked around for his car then remembered that he didn't have his Rover anymore. It was sitting at Smitty's Car Imporium waiting for the crusher. Johnny was waiting for the insurance pay off so he could buy another Rover. He already found one to replace the one he'd had for almost twelve years. This one was newer, and in better shape. He couldn't wait to get it, in the mean time, he had no way to get home. He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Guess it's a cab, Gage." Johnny pulled his wallet out of his pocket to take a look at his funds. Finding no money, he slumped even further. "Guess it's the ole thumb express." Johnny didn't even think about asking Roy for a ride.

Roy watched as Johnny walked through the parking lot, then stop. He knew what was going through his friends' mind. He got into his car and started the engine. When he noticed Johnny walk down the lane towards the exit, he followed. "Need a ride?"

Johnny looked at Roy. "Uh, yeah. I guess I do." He got into Roy's car and put his seat belt on. "Thanks."

"No problem." Roy put the car into gear and headed down the road. He headed for his house. He figured Johnny needed someone to talk to and if he wouldn't talk to him, he'd almost certainly would talk to his wife. He looked at Johnny while waiting for the light to change. "Hey, you okay?"

"What?" Johnny looked at Roy. "Yeah, just tired."

"I'll bet. Brackett said you were there all night. Why didn't you call me?" Roy asked as he started forward again.

"I don't know. Didn't think of it I guess. Brackett kept me most of the afternoon and evening for 'observation'." Johnny made quote marks with his fingers. "Then I just went up to Dixie's room and fell asleep there."

"Well, let's get you something to eat. Maybe then you'll feel up to sleeping in a real bed for the night." Roy pulled into his drive way.

"Roy? I can't. Not today, please? I just can't." Johnny hopped out of the car and headed for the street.

"Oh no you don't." Roy put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "You're going to come into the house, eat a sandwich then lie down on the couch for a nap. The kids are down the street for a sleep over so there won't be anybody to wake you." He steered his friend into the house.

Jo met them with a glass of water for Johnny. "Here, Johnny." She said softly. Jo had found that this man who worked with her husband, was nothing more than a lost soul. She found herself falling for his selfless acts of kindness and generosity when the world around her was anything but. She took him into her heart and held him there like a long lost treasure. She never told her husband, but deep down, she just knew Johnny had not had a happy childhood. "Come into the family room, Johnny." She led him to the couch he liked to lie on when he came over. "Sit down. I'll bring you a sandwich and some milk."

"That's okay, Jo. I'm not hungry." He sipped the water until it was all gone. He then stretched out on the couch. "Thanks anyway."

Roy brought in a pillow and a lightweight blanket. He got Johnny situated then left the room. He walked into the kitchen and sat heavily in a chair. "It's not looking good, Jo. If Johnny looses his license he could face suspension until such time as he gets his license back."

"Oh, that's terrible." Jo said.

"I talked to Cap, he's going to see if they can maybe keep him on but not let him drive at all. That would mean he'd have to ride in with every single patient. He's not going to like that, but if that's they only way he can stay on the job, then maybe he'll take it." Roy sighed. "He's so upset, Jo. He keeps saying that Dixie shouldn't have been in the truck with him, that he shouldn't have put the aquarium where he did."

"He'll get through this, Roy. He always does. Who knows, maybe now, Johnny and Dixie can talk about how they feel about each other." Jo smiled. She liked knowing things her husband didn't.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roy asked.

"Don't tell me you've never noticed the way those two look at each other." Jo slapped Roy lightly on the arm. "Silly goose. Those two have been making goo-goo eyes at each other for years now."

"Jo, I hate to tell you this, but there's nothing going on between them. They're friends, that's all." Roy looked at his wife. "And you know I hate it when you call me a silly goose."

"I know." Jo kissed her husband's cheek. "Go check on Johnny. You can keep your delusions while I try to figure out a way to get those two to talk to each other." Jo turned to the fridge and started pulling out items for dinner.

"Oh-kay." Roy shrugged and went outside. He had some yard work that he'd been putting off and now the neighbors were threatening bodily harm if he didn't mow the jungle and prune the shrubs.

She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me

Chapter Three

Dixie woke up feeling somewhat better. She looked around the room and sighed at not seeing Johnny there. "You had better not be blaming yourself John Gage." She muttered as she tried to get more comfortable.

Drs. Brackett and Early walked in just then. "Hey there. No moving around." Kel said.

"But how am I supposed to get comfortable?" Dixie groused. She wasn't the best of patients.

"We'll help you." Joe Early said as he came to the side of the bed. The two men gently rearranged Dixie on the hard hospital mattress until she was in a more comfortable position. Joe then raised the head of the bed so that Dix was semi-reclining. "Better?"

"Much. Thank you guys." Dix said. "Now for a couple of questions. One, where's Johnny and two, when can I go home?"

Joe and Kel looked at each other and smiled. "Johnny's with Roy. That poor boy needed some real sleep and some food. Roy took him home for awhile. I'm pretty sure he'll be back long before dinner's being served." Joe said.

"As for you going home. Well, you're not going to be going home anytime soon. You can't get around by yourself with your back all bruised and sprained. Once your back is looking better and you can move with relative comfort, then we'll release you." Kel said.

The door to the room opened slowly and a dark head appeared around the door. "Can I come in?" Johnny asked.

"Sure, handsome." Dixie smiled at the man. She felt her heart speed up when he came into the room carrying a small vase with some white carnations and a single red rose surrounded by baby's breath. "Oh, these are beautiful. Thank you."

"I just thought...." Johnny trailed off.

"Well, John. We'll just let you and Dixie talk." Joe said.

"Wait a minute." Dixie stopped the two doctors from leaving. "When can I go home?" She said slowly and clearly.

"In about two weeks." Kel said. He looked down at his feet finding the floor a lot more interesting to look at.

"Uh, I can help there." Johnny said. "I mean, it's the least I can do."

"Explain please?" Kel asked.

"Well, Dix's laid up, right? She's a worse patient than I am so it would be to every ones benefit for her to recuperate elsewhere. I have my new house, a spare room, and plenty of time." Johnny said.

"Is that why you weren't at work?" Dixie asked.

"We had an extra day off. But I'm not going back to work for three weeks or so. I, uh, well the ticket I got may have cost me my license. I'm on paid leave until the court date that decides if I really do lose my license. Then, it's up to the department. Roy said that maybe I won't be in too much trouble. I'd have to ride in with the ambulance all the time though." Johnny sat next to the bed. "So, Doc, can she come home with me?"

"I don't know, Johnny." Kel stalled. He really didn't see any reason for Dixie not to be released now. "Okay, if you're not having anymore head pain tomorrow, I'll release you into Johnny's capable hands."

"Hot damn!" Johnny shouted. "Oops." He blushed. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, Dix. Uh, why don't you give me the keys to your apartment and I'll go get some of your stuff. Or rather, I'll have Jo take me and have her get some of your stuff."

"Thank you Johnny." Dixie said. She asked Joe for her purse, which he gladly handed her. "Now, here's the key to the front door," She held up a key with the top part painted blue, "This one's to the dead bolt," This key was painted yellow, "And this one's for the door." She finally held up a red one. Holding up a smaller key that looked brand new, she said, "This one's to the mail box. You can find that about three buildings north of the parking lot. It's a big area surrounded by all the mail boxes in the complex. The box number is not the same as my apartment number. The box number is fourteen twenty. My apartment number is building A apartment six a. It's on the third floor." She handed the keys to Johnny. "Could you call the garage to see if my car is ready too?"

"Sure Dix." Johnny pocketed the keys. "Car, mail, clothes. No problem." Johnny left the room with more animation in his step then anyone had seen since they'd been brought in from the accident.

"Well, he's sure in a better mood." Joe laughed.

"Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much." Dixie cringed as the bruise across her ribs hurt.

"Sorry." Kel looked at her chart. "I'll see about getting your dinner, then your meds. You'll feel better in no time."

Dixie smiled as she closed her eyes.

Jo picked Johnny up at the hospital and drove them to the apartment complex. "Let's get the mail first, Johnny." She said as they got out of the station wagon.

"Okay." Johnny looked around. "Over there." He looked at the keys. "Now, which one was it?" He searched the keys. "Oh, yeah, here." He held up the small gold key. "Now, which box?" He looked at all the boxes. "There must be over two hundred boxes here."

"Did she say what box was hers?" Jo asked.

"Yeah, but I can't seem to remember. She's in apartment Six A Building A, but I can't remember what she said her box number was." Johnny looked at boxes.

Jo started at one end. She saw that names were on almost all the boxes. "Look for her name, Johnny."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks, Jo." Johnny started on the other wall. They looked for almost ten minutes before Jo found it.

"Here it is, box fourteen-twenty." Jo pointed.

"Thanks again, Jo." Johnny opened the box and pulled out the days' mail. "She still belongs to the Cassette of the Month Club." He giggled. "I remember when she joined. She got these god awful tapes. Country Western mostly but some classical too. I never took Dix for a country girl before. I thought she was more of a smoky Jazz type."

"Yeah. Roy likes Country sometimes. Mostly though he likes that easy listening stuff. You know, The Carpenters, Neil Diamond, even Frank Sinatra." Jo said as they walked through the complex looking for Building A.

"Here we go." Johnny used the key to open the door. "Up to the third floor." He led the way up the stairs. They stopped in front of Six A. "Well, here we go." He opened the door. Stepping in, Johnny looked around. "Nice."

"What did you expect, Johnny?" Jo laughed at the way her friend walked around the apartment.

"Dunno." Johnny shrugged. He set the mail on the dining room table and went into the kitchen.

"Don't snoop, Johnny. I'm going to go get Dixie some clothes." Jo headed for the bedroom. She packed some slacks, underwear, bras, stockings, socks and a few blouses along with two nightgowns and a robe into a suitcase. She then put into the bag a pair of sneakers and slippers. Walking into the bathroom, Jo added Dixie's makeup case, some other personal items then closed the bag. "Here you go Johnny." Jo walked out into the living room. She found Johnny staring at a picture that was on the book case.

"She has a picture of me here." Johnny whispered.

Jo walked up behind Johnny. He was looking at a picture that had been taken at the Fireman's Picnic the summer before. Johnny was sitting on the picnic table with Dixie sitting between his legs. They were hamming it up for the camera. "Yeah, she thinks the world of you, John Gage." Jo said softly.

"You think so?" Johnny asked. He wasn't too sure if he should pursue the issue with the Nurse.

"Yeah, I think so. Look Johnny, you're going to have a lot of time with Dixie over the next couple of weeks. My advice to you is use it wisely. Talk to her. You might be surprised." Jo headed for the door.

"But Jo, she's older than me." Johnny almost whined.

"So?" Jo raised her eyebrows at the man. "I'm older than you. Roy's older, heck the whole crew's older than you. What's that got to do with this?"

"But Jo, think about it. Why would Dixie be interested in someone who's almost thirteen years younger than she is?" Johnny had put the picture down and scooped back up the mail before heading to the door.

"Because you're you. Johnny, you're a fascinating person. So full of life and love. You only see the good in others, never letting the bad through. What isn't there about you to love?" Jo pushed Johnny out the door. "Make sure you lock the deadbolt."

"Okay." Johnny locked the door and followed Jo down the hallway. "You really think she thinks of me that way?" Johnny asked.

"Trust me, Junior." Jo used Roy's nickname for the man.

"Okay." Johnny opened the passenger door and got into the station wagon.

"You ready to go home and get ready for your house guest?" Jo asked. She would have rather taken him somewhere to get something to eat.

"Yeah, I guess." Johnny sat back and closed his eyes.

She's got a way of talkin'
I don't know why it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere

Chapter Four

Johnny smiled at the look on Dixie's face when Jo stopped at the front of the house. Dixie hadn't seen the house since he had moved in. "Well, here we are."

"It's beautiful, Johnny." Dixie said as Johnny helped her from the car into the wheelchair she was to use while her back healed. "I wish I didn't have to use this blasted thing." She groused as Johnny pushed her up the makeshift ramp he'd installed the night before.

"I know, and thank you. I like the way it's turning out myself." Johnny opened the front door and let Jo in first. He walked up the stairs to take some of Dixie's stuff to the guest room when he stopped. "Shit!" He turned and faced Jo and Dix. "Uh, I don't know if this is going to work."

"What's wrong, Johnny?" Jo asked.

"Uh, how are you going to get to the guest room, Dix? I mean, can you climb the stairs? Are you allowed to walk around?" Johnny sat on one of the steps.

"I'll be alright, Johnny. Joe and Kel both want me to take it easy, but I can walk. In fact my physical therapist recommends walking daily for short periods of time. Stairs should be no problem if you're there to spot me." Dixie smiled at Johnny. "Don't worry, Tiger. We'll get along just fine." She then winked at the younger man.

Johnny blushed and stood. "Okay. I'll..uh, I mean..." Johnny practically ran up the stairs and down the hall to the guest room.

Jo and Dixie laughed.

Johnny sat back and sighed. He looked over at Dixie who was sitting at the table across from him. "Well?"

"Not bad, Johnny." Dixie looked at the table. They had just had one of the best dinners she'd eaten in a long time. "Where'd you learn to cook?"

"The Community College had some food service courses that included basic cooking skills. I figured if I didn't want the guys at the station killing me, I'd better learn how to cook. Turns out I'm a natural. Just had to get motivated enough to do it."

"Well you did a very good job." Dixie stood and picked up her plate to take it into the kitchen.

"Oh, no you don't. You go sit in the living room. I made up the couch for you. You go lie down and I'll do up the dishes." Johnny took the plate out of Dixie's hand and shooed her out of the dining room.

"But.." Dixie started to protest. She took one look at Johnny's chocolate brown eyes and knew she'd never win. "Oh, all right." She walked slowly to the living room and gently laid down on the couch. She reached for the remote and thumbed on the television.

Johnny whistled as he washed up the dishes. He was getting scared. Deep down he knew that if he was to have a relationship with the woman then he'd have to be completely honest with the her and that would include talking about his past. His past was something he hadn't even talked about with his best friend. He hoped that after he told the woman what he had to say that she'd still want to be his friend. Hanging up the last dish towel and taking a look around the room, Johnny filled two glasses with ice and tea and set them along with the pain pills and muscle relaxants the Doctor had given Dix on a tray and walked out to the living room.

"So, you ready for dessert?" Johnny asked as he entered the room.

"Depends, is chocolate involved?" Dixie pushed herself up a little more.

"Sorry, there's none of that in the house. I guess I'll need to go to the store." Johnny set the tray down on the coffee table. "Here." He handed the woman her pills and a glass of tea.

"Thanks." Dixie took the pills gladly as she was hurting from the small amount of walking she'd done since arriving at the house.

"I aim to please." Johnny then sat down in his recliner. He played with the glass on the coffee table moving it here and there. He finally picked it up and sat back. "Can we talk?" He asked.

"About what?" Dixie questioned. She felt her stomach knot up and her heart rate increase.

"Us." Johnny said softly. "Or more accurately, me."

"What do you want to tell me, Johnny?" Dixie asked. She sat up and put her feet on the floor so she could look at her friend.

"I want to tell you a story. A story about a little boy who got lost." Johnny said.

"I like those kind of stories." Dixie said softly. She didn't want to scare the man off.

"Well, this one you might not like so much." Johnny took a deep breath. "Okay, it starts about oh, twenty years ago in a small town in South Dakota near the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation." Johnny started telling his story.

Dixie sat there listening. She'd never heard the kind of things she was being told. She held her questions though at Johnny's request for when he finished.

"Anyway, when I was fifteen, my Uncle decided that he was finished with me. He took me out to his cabin. It was deep in the woods. Hard to find. He gave me a blanket, canteen and a pair of boots. He told me that if I didn't make it home by Friday, he dropped me off on Wednesday, then I wasn't to bother ever coming back."

"Oh Johnny." Dixie gasped.

"Yeah. Well, I made it back all right. On Thursday afternoon I showed up at Uncle Ray's work while he was at lunch and told his boss what he'd been doing on the job. Boy was Mr. Daniels mad. He called in his foreman and told him to fire Uncle Ray. I walked out of the trailer at the job site and headed down the road. I walked home as quickly as I could. I knew I was in for it when Uncle Ray got home, so I ran. Dixie, I don't ever remember being so scared. I ran like the wind. Once home, I packed up as much of my stuff as I could, stole some cash out of Uncle's stash and took Aunt May's address book. I hitched up to Rapid City and caught a bus West. I ended up in Sacramento two days later and Barstow two days after that. Aunt Agnes, my mother's sister took me right in. She has a small ranch just south of Barstow. I helped her out. Her husband had skipped out on her just a few months prior to my arrival. She had two kids to support. I really didn't want to add to her burden, but she said that I was family and if her sister wasn't going to take responsibility for me, then it was her duty to. She loves me, Dixie. Loves me more than my Mom or Dad ever did." Johnny finished his story.

"What happened to your parents Johnny?" Dixie asked.

"Dunno. They're still on the ranch as far as I know." Johnny shrugged. "I haven't seen them since that day I left."

"But that was almost fifteen years ago." Dixie said.

"I know, Dix. Look, my parents didn't want me, my father's family didn't want me. What more could I do? We lived with Uncle Ray because of Dad's job. He was on the road a lot and didn't want Mom on her own. Uncle Ray worked construction 'cuz he was too damn dumb to know how to run a profitable ranch. Mom worked because Uncle Ray said he wasn't gonna support any Indians in his lifetime. Aunt May was a stay at home mother to my two cousins, Lee and Stacey." Johnny sighed. "The worst was what Uncle Ray did to me." He bowed his head.

Dixie patted the couch next to her. "Come over here, Johnny." She said.

Johnny stood and walked over to the couch. He very gently sat down next to Dixie. He sighed when he felt her arm go around his back. "You just let it all out, Johnny. I promise not to judge you for what you have to say." She waited for Johnny to begin. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to talk, she asked the one question that had been nagging her all evening. "He touched you, didn't he?" She asked.

Johnny slowly nodded his head. "Yes." He whispered. "For five years."

"Oh, Johnny." She pulled the man close and held him tight. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. No child should ever have to go through that."

"Please don't hate me, Dix. I'd die if you said you hated me." Johnny stood and walked to the sliding glass door in the dining room. He wrapped his arms around his body in an effort to self comfort.

Dixie stood and slowly walked over to the now distraught man. "Johnny?" She said softly. When Johnny didn't answer she continued walking over to him. She had to say her peace. "Johnny, I can never, ever hate you for anything. You are the most special person to me. You came into my life all those years ago and stole it right out of me. I've liked you from the very first time you walked into that ER and wanted to be your friend in the worst way. Then you became a paramedic. I was so proud of you. You see, I knew that deep down inside, you were a very smart man. You are also a very compassionate man." By now, she was standing behind the younger man. She put her arms around his slender waist and felt him stiffen. "It's all right to be touched, Johnny. It's all right to love yourself."

"But what he did to me. How can you stand being around me knowing that that stuff happened?" Johnny turned in her arms and looke down at her. "I don't understand?"

"Easy there, Johnny. What happened to you wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve to be molested." She watched as Johnny seemed to close down on her. She thought fast. "You've never told anybody about this before have you?"

"Hell no!" Johnny growled. He pushed out of Dixie's arms watching as she stumbled back against the table. He reached out to steady her. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Johnny." Dixie watched him as he walked around the table and into the kitchen. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"If you're going to say 'talk to somebody' save your breath." Johnny was putting a kettle on. "I know I need to talk to some one, Dix. I've been having recurring nightmares for sometime now that seem to want to envade my waking hours too." He slammed his fist on the counter. "DAMMIT! I just want them to go away. I want Uncle Ray to leave me alone."

"I know, Tiger. Let me help?" Dixie again pulled the younger man into her arms. "Please, Johnny, let me help?"

"Oh, Dix." Johnny turned and wrapped his arms around the older woman. "Please, help me." He started sobbing. They stood there in the kitchen holding each other. The only thing that broke the moment was when the kettle started to whistle.

They both stepped back and smiled. "Tea?" Johnny asked.

"Please." Dixie walked over to the counter and opened the cannister that was marked 'TEA'. She pulled out two tea bags while Johnny filled two cups. They put everything on a tray and Johnny carried it out to the living room. They sat side by side on the couch watching television while their tea steeped.

"Dix?" Johnny asked.

"Yes?" Dixie played with her tea bag, dunking it up and down before putting it on a saucer and spooning in some honey. "Talk to me Johnny."

"What do I tell who ever I end up going to?" Johnny stirred some honey into his cup as well. "I mean, where do I find this person? I can't go to the department shrink, they'll can me for sure."

"Why would they fire you, Johnny?" Dixie asked.

"Because they'll think I'm mentally unstable or something." Johnny shrugged. "I don't know." He finally picked up his mug and sat back.

Dixie sat back as well holding her cup with both of her hands. She was beginning to ache.

"Back hurt?" Johnny asked.

"A little." Dixie admitted.

"Once you're finished with your tea, I'll help you upstairs. You change, get comfortable and all then I'll give you a gentle massage." Johnny said.

"On one condition." Dixie said.

"What's that?" Johnny frowned.

"That you let me use your bed to get comfortable on." Dixie spoke softly, sensually. She wanted to feel this man's hands on her body.

Johnny blushed. "Dix!"

"Why John Gage!" Dix slapped Johnny's arm. "I do believe you're blushing."

"Sorry." Johnny ducked his head.

"Don't be. I like it." She put her hand on Johnny's chin and brought his head up. "You're a beautiful person, Johnny. Don't let anyone tell you differently." She then put her hand behind Johnny's head and brought their heads together.

Johnny started to panic. He knew this was what he wanted, yet that voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to stop. He felt the warm, moist lips on his and gave into his feelings. He kissed Dixie back. He couldn't remember kissing a woman before and having it feel, taste like this, or give him this kind of reaction. He put his mug down and took Dixie's out of her hand. "Oh, Dixie." He moaned as he deepened the kiss.

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around.

Chapter Five

Dixie woke with a smile on her lips. She still felt a little twinge in her back, but the arms she was wrapped up in more than made up for any pain she'd been feeling. She gently removed herself from the warm embrace to go to the bathroom. It was almost eight in the morning when she pulled her robe on and went into the bathroom. She then walked downstairs and into the kitchen. She started coffee while she picked up the phone. Her first order of business was to call Jo and thank her for the clothes and stuff, then to call Kel and get the name of a therapist for Johnny.

"Hello?" The phone was answered on the third ring by a man.

"Roy?" Dixie asked.

"Hi, Dix. How's the back?"

"Better. Thanks. The reason I called was to talk to Jo. Is she available?" Dixie puttered around the kitchen getting breakfast stuff ready.

"Hang on." Roy handed the phone to his wife. "It's Dix." He told her.

"Hi, Dixie." Jo said after taking the receiver.

"Morning Jo. I just want to thank you for getting my clothes. I know if I'd trusted Johnny and or Roy to do that I'd have ended up with jeans and t-shirts and no underwear." She giggled.

"You got that right. I once asked Roy to pack me a bag when I was pregnant with Jenny. Last time I did that." Jo giggled too. "Is there anything else we can do for you and Johnny?"

"Yes. Come over for dinner tonight?" Dixie asked. "Also, call me later once I've gotten Johnny out of the house. I'll send him outside or something. I want to talk to you."

"You did it?" Jo asked as only a woman who knew the score could.

"Later." She whispered. "I'll talk to you later. Thanks again." Dixie finished the call and hung up. She then dialed Kel's number.

"Dr. Brackett." Kel Brackett answered his phone. He was harried as his day had started out hectic and had only got worse because his head nurse was not there and the substitute was just not up to Dixie's standards.

"Good morning Sunshine." Dixie said. She had a feeling why Kel was being terse.

"Good morning, Dixie. What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well, I need a name." Dixie said.

"What kind of a name?" Kel was curious now.

"The name of a therapist who will work outside the Fire Department with John Gage." Dixie said.

"Why?" Kel was more than curious now.

"He has some things he needs to work out and is afraid that if he uses a department psychiatrist, he'll loose his job or be called a risk to his fellow fire fighters." Dixie explained.

"I'll see what I can find. I'll probably just suggest he see Henry Barrows. He's the top in his field." Kel said.

"Kel, what I'm about to tell you can't go any further." Dixie said. She sat down at the table with a cup of coffee.

"What's that?" Kel put down the file he'd been thumbing through.

"Johnny needs a special doctor. One who deals with Childhood trauma." Dix said.

"What kind of childhood trauma?" Kel asked.

"Uh....let's just say that Johnny was hurt by a family member." Dix said.

"Got ya. Let's see...." Kel picked up the doctor's directory and searched for just the person to help Johnny. "Yes, here it is....Okay, I'll call Dr. Anthony Peacock and talk to him. See if he's accepting new adult patients."

"Thanks Kel. I need to go. I hear Johnny upstairs." She finished the call then poured a cup of coffee for her sleeping paramedic. She took the mug up the stairs slowly. "Johnny?" She called out as she entered the bedroom. She noted the rumpled bed sheets and the discarded clothes.

"In here." Johnny called from the bathroom.

"I have coffee." Dixie called from the other side of the door. She saw that it wasn't closed completely.

"Put it on the sink." Johnny said as he stepped into the large shower and turned on the water.

Dixie walked into the room and set the cup down. She turned and took in Johnny's nude body. She could see it through the clear glass shower door. She undid the belt on her robe and let the nylon garment pool on the floor. She then opened the shower door and stepped in. "Need a hand there, Sailor?"

"SHIT!" Johnny gasped at the feel of soft hands on his back. He then leaned into the warm, loving caresses. "Yeah. That feels so good."

Dixie kissed Johnny's shoulders smothering the freckles that ran across his shoulders and down his back. "You got a lot of freckles back here."

"I know. My Mom says I got that from Dad's side of the family. He's Irish, if I remember right." Johnny turned around and faced the woman who stole his heart. "Come here." He pulled Dixie into a hug and captured her lips with his.

They broke away reluctently. Dixie took over the task of washing Johnny's body taking special care of the man. "I love you, John Gage."

"I love you too, Dixie." Johnny murmured back as he felt her hands on his body.

They took turns washing each other and stepped out of the shower giggling like school kids as they toweled off.

Once back in the bedroom, Johnny became subdued. He looked at Dixie as she dropped the sweater onto her shoulders and smoothed it into place. "Dix?"

"Yes, Johnny?" Dixie looked up at the man and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, I really need to talk to someone, you know, about what I told you last night." Johnny zipped up his jeans and sat down on the foot of the bed to pull on his socks and shoes. "You wouldn't happen to know anyone, would you?"

"I think I can help you find someone to help you, Johnny." Dixie gave Johnny a hug. "Now, how about some breakfast?"

"Sure." Johnny blushed as his stomach rumbled.

"Come on, Handsome, let's go." Dixie took Johnny's hand in his and led the way downstairs.

Dixie watched Johnny as he worked around the yard. She was lying on the lounge chair letting the sun warm her skin. The rains that had threatened the LA basin had never materialized and it was a warm 72 degrees outside that December afternoon. "You missed a spot." She giggled as Johnny used the lawn mower to pick up the leaves that had fallen off the old, tall oak tree that offered shade over most of the back yard.

"Guess I did." Johnny finished up then walked up to the deck. "I'm going to go work in the barn. Why don't you go on inside and get lunch?"

"Okay. Help me up?" Dixie held out her right hand.

"With pleasure, m'lady." Johnny said with a mock bow. He took her right hand and helped her to her feet. "Now, go slow and easy."

"Yes, Sir." Dixie walked slowly into the house and made her way to the kitchen. She picked up the phone and called Jo.

"Hello?" Jo answered.

"Is he still there?" Dixie asked.

"Oh, hi. Yeah, he's moping around. Want me to bring him over and that way we girls can talk and the boys can work in the yard?" Jo asked.

"Yes, Jo, that's a great idea. Johnny already has the yard done, but I'm sure we can find ample stuff for them to do, including grocery shopping. I've been going thru the cupboards and have been greatly disappointed." Dixie had indeed started a list of food stuffs and necessities.

"Okay, I'll pry Roy away from the football game and get him in the car. We'll be over in about twenty minutes.

"I'll have lunch waiting." Dixie said. "See you when you get here."

"All right. Good bye." Jo hung up and turned to the man sitting in the recliner, eyes glued to the television screen. "All right, up and at 'em."

"What?" Roy said as he picked up the beer can sitting on the side table.

"Put that down. We're going over to Johnny's. Chris and Jenny can come too and we can have lunch and visit." Jo walked over to the television and turned it off.

"HEY!" Roy stood. "Oh, all right." His shoulders slumped.

"Now I know where the kids get it." Jo laughed. She turned and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "CHRIS, JENNY COME DOWN HERE, PLEASE."

The sound of feet could be heard as twelve year old Christopher and ten year old Jennifer came down the hall. "Yeah, Ma?" Chris asked.

"Go get your jackets, we're going over to Uncle Johnny's for the afternoon." Jo told her children.

"YEAH!" Jenny jumped up and down. She turned and went back into her room for her jacket.

They came downstairs a few minutes later carrying their light weight jackets.

"Okay, everybody in the car." Jo called. "Come on, Roy." She pulled the man out of his chair.

"I'm coming. Probably have me doing yard work the minute I get there." He grumbled.

"Dix said Johnny's already finished that, so don't worry." She got into the station wagon and waited for Roy to get in. She laughed when the man stopped by the front of the car and looked at the sky. She smiled wickedly at her children then reached over and honked the horn. This caused Roy to jump and the children to laugh.

"Way to go, Mom." Chris giggled.

"Buckle up back there." Jo rolled down the window, "Come on Roy."

Roy got in behind the wheel and buckled his seat belt. "Let's go."

She's got a way of showin'
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin'

Chapter Six

Johnny and Roy took the kids down to the lake at the far end of the property. They did some fishing while Dixie and Jo did some shopping.

Safeway Grocery Store

"Tell me all about last night, Dix." Jo said as they pushed the cart through the produce section of the store.

"Well, we talked about a lot of things, things that I can't divulge, but it was eye opening. We finally called it a night. Now, nothing really happened last night. We just held each other, but this morning....let me tell you." Dixie actually blushed.

"Don't tell me, you initiated it?" Jo stopped in front of the tomatoes.

"Well, I had to, Jo. I would have been waiting the rest of my life. That man is so dense at times. It's a wonder, you know?" Dixie smiled.

"So? How was it?" Jo asked in a whisper.

"The best." Dixie said. "He's the most gentle lover I've ever had."

"Really?" Jo was interested. She had felt deep down that if she hadn't married Roy then she probably would give John Gage a tumble.

"The best, Jo. I've been around for a long time and this old girl has had her fair share of lovers, but none of them hold a candle to John R. Gage." Dixie smiled as she picked up a head of lettuce. "Now if we could only do something about his cooking."

The two women laughed as they made their way slowly through the grocery store. Stopping to let Dixie sit down for a bit.

Roy sat looking at Johnny. He then turned his attention to his children who were playing in the back yard with Johnny's puppy.

"What?" Johnny asked as he too watched the children and the dog.

"How do you do it?" Roy asked.

"Do what?" Johnny looked at Roy.

"IT!" Roy spread his hands. "You flirt with just about every free and available woman at Rampart, yet you don't date any of them more than two times. How do you do it? How do you keep getting them to go out with you?"

"You've known me long enough, Roy to know I don't kiss and tell." Johnny splayed his left hand over his chest, "Besides, Jo'd get pissed if I told you all my secrets." He winked at Roy then stood. "Hey, Chris, throw me the ball."

Johnny, Chris, and Jenny then played keep away from the Husky puppy. Roy laughed when the pup tripped Johnny. He stopped laughing when Johnny didn't get right up.

"You okay, Johnny?" Roy asked as he ran down the steps of the deck to the lawn.

Chris looked at his father then back down at Johnny. "Stupid dog." He muttered.

The dog in question was frantically licking Johnny's face and whining.

"Get back, Beau." Roy pushed the nine month old puppy aside.

The dog wouldn't move, so Chris grabbed his collar and pulled his back a bit. He held on tight while his father looked Johnny over.

"You all right, Johnny?" Roy asked as Johnny blinked.

"What the hell happened?" Johnny sat up rubbing his head.

"Your stupid dog decided to trip you." Chris said.

"Beau's not stupid, Chris. He just gets excited." Johnny stood and looked at the dog. "Come here, Beau." The dog walked over to his master's side and sat. "See, he's not stupid." Johnny turned and headed into the house. Beau followed.

"I think you owe Uncle Johnny an apology Christopher." Roy stood with his hands on his hips looking down at the boy.

"Why?" Chris asked.

"For calling Beau stupid." Jenny piped up.

"Right." Roy nodded. "Now, go in and wash up. You too, Jenny. Then I want you to think about what you said to Uncle Johnny, Chris. Think hard and decide what you're going to do." Roy believed in talking to his children and giving them the tools they need to handle situations such as what was happening. He never hit his kids, and rarely yelled. He did expect them to act responsibly though.

"Yes, Sir." Chris stomped up to the house muttering about stupid dogs and even dumber fathers.

"I'd seriously watch what I was saying if I were you, Christopher." Roy called after the boy.

Chris knew that he was really in trouble since his father called him Christopher twice now. He shut up and walked into the house. He closed the bathroom door quietly and washed his hands. After drying them, he stepped out of the bathroom and into the small hallway that led from the mud room to the kitchen. He heard Johnny talking to someone. He figured he was talking to the dog. He headed for the kitchen. He wanted to get this over with.

"I'm sorry Beau. You're not stupid. I should have been watching where I was going. I get like that, you know. Always gettin' hurt because I don't pay attention to where I'm going or what I'm doing. Not you though. No, you're smart. Don't let what Chris said get to you, boy." Johnny was hugging the dog fiercely.

Chris walked into the kitchen feeling worse then he had. "Uncle Johnny?"

"What, Chris?" Johnny didn't look at the boy.

"I'm sorry." Chris said softly. He bowed his head and turned to leave. "I'll tell Dad that I should go home now."

"Wait." Johnny stood. He walked over to the pre-teen and tipped his head back with his hand. "Why did you say that? Why did you call Beau stupid?"

"I don't know." Chris shrugged. "We were playing and he stood right behind you. It was like he did it on purpose."

"He probably did." Johnny grinned. "But that's still no reason to call anyone, people or animal, stupid. Okay?"

"Okay, Uncle Johnny." Chris gave the man a small smile.

"Good, now, I think you owe Beau an apology too. You hurt his feelings, you know." Johnny called the puppy over. "Now Beau, you sit here and listen to what Chris has to say."

The dog yipped and licked Johnny's hand. He then looked at Chris.

"I'm sorry, Beau. You're not stupid." Chris knelt down and hugged the dog. "You're smart. Really, really smart."

Beau yapped again and pushed Chris back. He wanted to play.

"Take it outside." Johnny laughed.

"Come on, Beau." Chris patted his thigh and headed for the back door. Beau gladly followed.

Johnny stood in the kitchen wondering how much of what he had told his dog Chris heard. "Need to learn to keep your mouth shut, Gage." He mumbled as he pulled two beers out of the fridge.

Jo and Dixie got home shortly after the dog incident.

"All right all you gumba's get your butts out here and help us bring in all these bags." Jo called from the driveway.

Roy, Johnny, Chris, and Jenny ran around the side of the house to the front yard and stopped at the car. Johnny helped Dixie out of the car and into the house. They were oblivious to the look Roy gave them. He turned to his wife.

"What?" Jo shrugged her shoulders then put a bag into Roy's waiting arms. "Here, these need to be put on the kitchen table."

Jo handed each of the children something to carry in and took a bag herself. Once in the kitchen she directed Roy and Chris to finish bringing in the groceries. "Hurry up too. It's cooling off outside and if you want to grill the steaks we'll need to get going."

"Okay." Roy and Chris headed out to the car and grabbed the rest of the bags. Roy closed the door on the wagon and headed into the house. He was busy thinking about what he'd seen happen between Johnny and Dixie. He made a mental note to talk to his wife.

She's got a light around her
And everywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her everywhere

Chapter Seven

Johnny fidgeted while he waited for the doctor to see him. Dixie was downstairs getting looked over by Kel. He looked around the office of Dr. Anthony Peacock, Tony to his friends and colleagues. He wasn't too sure he was in the right place. Scattered about the room were several piles of children's toys. A small table sat in a corner with even smaller chairs around it. On the tables were editions of Highlights Magazines as well as issues of Parents Magazine. Johnny shuddered to think he was here in the waiting room of a Children's Doctor.

"Mr. Gage?" A pretty young woman called him from the desk.

"Yes?" Johnny stood.

"Dr. Peacock will be just a few more minutes. I have all your forms here, so as soon as he's finished, I'll take you back." The pretty receptionist said.

"Thank you." Johnny sat back down wiping his hands on his jeans. He couldn't remember a time he'd been so nervous.

Ten minutes later Johnny was led down the hallway to an office. He was told to sit in one of the chairs. Looking around the room, Johnny's eyes fell on the diploma's that hung on the wall.

The door opened just as Johnny's restless nature got the best of the younger man. Johnny turned towards the door. "Oh, sorry." Johnny sat down after wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

"I'm Dr. Peacock, Mr. Gage." He held out his right hand.

"Please, call me Johnny." Johnny shook the doctor's hand then sat back down.

"Okay, let's see. You were referred to me by Dr. Kelly Brackett, is that correct?" Dr. Peacock asked.

"Right. Dr. Brackett told me you were good." Johnny looked down at his now clasped hands. "Uh, I need some help and I hope you're the one who can help me."

"Me too." Peacock smiled.

"Uh, you work mostly with kids, don't you?" Johnny asked.

"Yes I do. But these kids are special kids, Johnny. They've gone through some real heavy trauma. Physical and Psychological."

"Oh." Johnny again looked at his hands.

"Want to tell me about it?" The doctor prompted the paramedic.

"Well, it's like this, I...uh...This is really hard, Doc." Johnny stammered.

"That's okay, John. You just take your time." Peacock pulled a pad in front of him and picked up his mechanical pencil and began doodling. "What was it like where you grew up?"

"It was okay." Johnny shrugged. "Well, it was until I was eleven."

"What happened then?" The doctor prompted again.

"We moved." Johnny stated. "Onto my Uncle Ray's ranch. It was on the Rez, but far away from the main towns. Dad worked construction so he wasn't around. Mom was distant. She had my younger brother to worry about and didn't need me under foot so she sent me out to the barn to help out Uncle Ray alot. I didn't like having to go out to the barn." Johnny began shaking. He looked up at the doctor. "Please, don't make me go back there."

"No one will, John. You just take a deep breath." Peacock made some notes in the notebook then put his pencil down. "I think that's enough for today. Why don't we plan on seeing each other three days a week to start."

Johnny wiped his face and looked at the doctor. "That bad huh?" He grinned. "Can I bring a friend?"

"Sure, Johnny. Friends help make the memories easier to deal with. You can bring whomever you want." Tony stood. "The receptionist will set up the times, just take this out to her." He handed him a card.

"Thanks, Doc." Johnny stood. "Thanks a lot." Johnny stood and headed for the door. He looked back and smiled at the doctor. He waved then walked through the door.

Johnny was whistling when he walked into the cafeteria looking for Dixie. He smiled when he saw the woman who had taken over his life sitting with Kel Brackett and Joe Early. "Hey." He said as he sat down at the table.

"Here." Dixie pushed a plate in front of Johnny. "Eat." She smiled.

Johnny blushed. "Thanks, Dix." He picked up the sandwich and took a bite. "Good."

"I knew you'd like it." Dixie reached under the table and gave Johnny's thigh a squeeze. "So, how'd it go?"

"I have to go back day after tomorrow. He wants to see me three times a week for now. I think he'll be able to help me." Johnny said between bites. He sipped his soda then looked at his friends. "Thanks for helping me out."

"It's our pleasure, Johnny." Joe said. "You'd be sorely missed if you weren't with us anymore."

"Thanks, Doc." Johnny blushed again.

"You just take it easy, Johnny." Kel stood. "Now, I have to return to work." He waved then left the group.

"So, what's the verdict?" Johnny asked Dixie.

"Three weeks." Dixie scowled.

"Now, Dix." Joe started. "We just want to make sure that your back is completely healed. Besides, someone's going to have to take care of Johnny while he's off too." He winked.

"I know." Dixie said. She looked at Johnny and caught the look in his eye. She looked at the plate she'd set in front of the younger man and saw that it was empty. "You ready?"

"Huh?" Johnny shook his head then looked at his plate. "Uh, yeah. See ya Doc." He stood and picked up the remnants of his meal to deposit in the trash bin. "You ready, Dix?"

Dixie followed.

She comes to me when I'm feeling down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around

Chapter Eight

Johnny looked around at the people he loved. They were sitting around the living room watching the Christmas Parade on the television while Johnny fixed dinner in the kitchen.

He had spent the last three weeks seeing Dr. Tony, as he'd been instructed to call the man, three times a week. Each time Dixie was by his side. Roy and Joanne also found time to accompany their friend to the doctor. Johnny had worked his way through the demons that had been haunting him most of his life and was now able to tell his friends about his childhood.

Roy smiled as he watched Johnny putter around setting the table. Several times he'd been tempted to get up and go help, but his wife held him back. He laughed. "You sure he's safe?"

"Positive. Dix said he took cooking lessons out at the Community College. He's turned into quite a cook. Haven't you noticed at the station?" Jo asked.

"Not really. I mean, sure, he's served some pretty good meals, but he hasn't been on duty for three weeks." Roy stated.

"He took the classes almost a year ago, Roy." Jo slapped his arm. "You mean to tell me none of you bozo's pay any attention to what Johnny cooks? You put up a big fuss over Marco's Chili, or Mike's Chicken, or Hank's Chowder, but all you ever do is bitch about Johnny's cooking when he's been busting his butt making good healthy meals for you jerks. No wonder he's shy about his cooking."

Roy stopped and thought about what his wife had said. "You know, Jo, you're right." Roy stood and walked toward the kitchen. He stopped at the door way and watched as Johnny pulled a pan out of the double wall oven. "Need any help?"

"No thanks, I got it all under control, go back and play with the kids." Johnny said without turning around.

"Johnny?" Roy said softly.

Johnny set the pan down on the counter and rolled his shoulders. He turned around slowly trying to school his face so his emotions wouldn't show. "Yes, Roy."

"This smells terrific. I'm sorry I haven't noticed your vast culinary skills before now." Roy said then left the room. He wasn't sure why he felt like a class A jerk. He looked at the other people in the room and his eyes fell upon Chet Kelly. He walked over to the shorter man. "Chet?"

"Yeah, Roy?" Chet looked up from the ball game.

"Come with me please?" Roy led Chet out the front door and onto the porch.

"What's the deal, Roy?" Chet asked.

"Leave Johnny alone today. He's spent all day cooking, in case you didn't notice." Roy started.

Chet butt in, "Gage, cooking? Yeah, try a new one, Roy. Johnny can't cook to save his life."

"Then why is he in the kitchen and not out in the living room?" Roy reasoned.

"He's making time with some chick he hired to do the cooking for him." Chet shurgged his shoulders.

"I don't think so, Chet. Maybe you and I better take a stroll." Roy led Chet back into the house and to the kitchen. They stood quietly in the door way watching the goings on.

"Holy Shit." Chet whispered.

Dixie and Johnny were kissing.

Dixie had walked into the kitchen after seeing Roy leave. She wanted to make sure that Johnny was all right. She found the man standing at the sink staring out over the back yard. "Johnny?"

"I'm sorry." Johnny said as he plugged the sink and turned on the water.

Dixie stepped up behind the man and put her arms around his slender waist. "We really need to work on putting some weight on you." She teased.

"Never happen." Johnny whispered. "Roy couldn't believe I was cooking. What if the others don't think I did all this." He swept his hand out.

"I'll tell them you were up until two this morning getting the prep work done and still got up at 6 to make breakfast for us." Dixie turned Johnny around and looked him in the eye. "We'll tell them at dinner." She then pulled Johnny down for a soft, sensous kiss. "Now, get crackin' mister."

"Yes, Ma'am." Johnny smiled and turned off the water. He started washing some of the dishes so that clean up would be easier. "Hey Dix?"

"Yes Johnny?" Dixie pulled an apron off the hook by the pantry and tied it around her waist.

"Can you set the...." He turned around and saw that Dixie had plates and silverware already set out to go on the table. "Thanks." He blushed.

"You're welcome." Dixie said. She'd figured out that Johnny was a very sensitive soul and that he easily embarrassed because he had grown up not knowing compliments or love. So she didn't tease him anymore when he blushed when he said thanks.

"We'll eat in about a half hour." Johnny said as he loaded the dishwasher. He was going to run the first load while dinner was cooking and unload just before doing the dishes. He wasn't going to ask for any help at all today, he was planning on doing all the work. This day was for his friends to enjoy, relax, and not worry.

Dixie had a plan though. She took the plates and silver out to the dining room then went over to Jo. "He's almost done. We've got to figure out a way to get him out of the kitchen after dinner. He's not going to let us help him clean up."

"Why?" Jo asked.

"I'm not really sure. He was mumbling in his sleep last night something about it being his responsibility to make sure you all didn't have to lift a finger. I guess he's feeling generous, but I know for a fact that he barely got three hours of sleep last night." Dixie sighed. "These past few weeks have been emotionally draining on him. He can't seem to sleep through the night. He wakes up often and he's still having nightmares, although they're few and far between now. I worry about him, Jo. He's hardly eating, and he's still losing weight. The therapy is working. I know it helps that we're there for him, but I don't know how else to help him." Dixie sat down on the chair Jo had led her to.

"Dixie, you're doing everything in your power for that man to help him get better and to help him open up. I remember so long ago when he wouldn't even admit to having a family, now we know all his dirty secrets. The best we can do is to be there for him and pick up the pieces when he crumbles." Jo gave the older woman a hug. "I'm just so glad you two finally decided to get together." She whispered.

"Me too." Dixie said. "I'm going to be changing my address soon." She said conspiritorily.

"That's great. I'm happy for you, Dix." Jo laughed. "Come on, I'll help you finish the table before Johnny tries to do it himself. He never could get the fork on the right side of the plate."

"You noticed that too?" Dix laughed with her friend. "Sometimes..." She trailed off.

"I know. We'll help him." Jo said as they walked back into the dining room. Sure enough, Johnny was setting the table. "What are you doing?"

"Hi, Jo. Just setting the table. Dinner's almost ready." He wiped his hands on his apron and walked around the table with his hands full of silver ware. He was mumbling to himself. "Now, the book said salad fork first, which is the salad fork?" He looked at the forks in his hand. "Oh, what's the use." He dropped the silver and stomped back into the kitchen.

Dixie went after him while Jo finished putting the silver around. Johnny had put the dinner plates, salad plates, and bread and butter plates all in the right places, along with the water glasses and wine glasses. He just couldn't do the silverware.

"Johnny?" Dixie asked as she watched the man she loved pull the ham out of the oven and set it on the butcher block island. He didn't look at her.

"I'm busy, Dix." He said. He rarely showed anger when he was around Dixie, but today he had wanted everything to be perfect. He had wanted to show all his friends that he wasn't a social idiot and knew how to host a dinner. He felt like he was failing because he couldn't remember how to do the damn silverware.

"It's all righ, Johnny." Dixie hugged her man. "Please, cut yourself some slack."

"I can't Dix. You know that. This is important. I can't fail tonight. Chet will laugh me out of the station and I can't have that happening." Johnny sighed as he put the ham on a platter and set it aside to rest. He then put the mashed potatoes in a serving dish, then the gravy. He pulled the candied sweet potatoes out of the oven making sure that the marshmallows hadn't boiled over. He got everything lined up. He then pulled two bottles of wine out of the fridge and opened them and set them aside. "Okay, first the salad." He picked up the bowl and took it into the dining room. Setting it on the table next to the salad dressings, he looked around and saw that the silver had been put in its proper place. "Next, veggie plate." He took the pickles, olives, celery and carrot sticks out to the table.

"Let me help, Johnny?" Dixie said. "Please." She noticed that Johnny seemed to be dragging. "It's four o'clock and you haven't sat down for more than an hour today."

"Because I can't sit down, Dix." He picked up the bowl of beans, "Here, put these and the mashed potatoes on the table, please."

"Okay." She took the two bowls and set them on the center of the table. She then went back for the sweet potatoes and the gravy. "You want to carve the ham in here or at the table?"

"I'll start it in here then slice more at the table." Johnny was sharpening his knife. He then sliced a good dozen pieces of the meat. "There." He took the platter and set it on the table in front of his chair. He then looked around the table. "Perfect." He didn't bother taking off his apron because he was certain the he had forgotten something and he knew he'd be the one getting it. He had made sure that he was the closest to the kitchen. "Okay everybody." He called his friends to the table.

Dixie sat on Johnny's right while Jo sat on his left with Jenny next to her and Roy next to Jenny. Chris sat next to Dixie as he had been picking on his sister a lot lately. Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez were sitting next to Roy and Hank Stanley was sitting at the foot of the table with his wife to his left. Drs. Kelly Brackett and Joe Early rounded out the guest list.

Johnny smiled as his friends took in the site. "Okay, Gage. Who cooked?" Chet said.

"I did." Johnny stated. He bowed his head slightly as he was known to do just before he blew his stack. Dixie put her hand on his arm.

"This looks great, John." She said.

"Yeah, Uncle Johnny." Chris said. He picked up his glass of milk and went to take a sip. He got a look from his father that made him put his glass right back down. "Oops. Sorry."

Johnny looked at the boy. "What for?"

"We haven't said grace." Chris said.

"Grace?" Johnny looked around the table. "I'm sorry, I...uh..." He faltered.

"That's okay. Why don't we all say what's on our mind then we'll eat." Hank offered. "I'll go first. This is the first year Elaine and I have been on our own for the holidays. I want to thank you, Johnny for taking us into your home and feeding us this wonderful smelling repast."

Elaine went next. "I feel the same way as Hank, Johnny. Thank you."

Marco knudged Chet in the ribs with his elbow. "Oh, what'd you do that for?" Chet squirmed. He looked at the stern faces. "Thanks for the invite, Gage." He said.

"Yeah, Johnny. My mama's in Mexico with her familia this year, so I was all alone. Thanks for inviting me." Marco said.

"Thank, Junior. This smells wonderful and I'm sure it will taste as good as it smells." Roy said. "Chris, son, why don't you go next."

"Thanks Uncle Johnny. I liked the race car too." Chris said.

"My turn." Jenny said. "I'm hungry and I wanna eat!"

Everyone laughed at the ten year old.

"Jennifer!" Jo admonished.

"It's okay, Jo. She's just being honest." Johnny said. He had picked up the knife and fork and had started filling his dinner plate to make it the serving plate.

"Well, I for one and glad I didn't have to cook this year." Jo stated. "Thanks, John."

Dixie looked all around the table then at Johnny. "I'm glad Johnny's been here for me during my convalesence. He's made the time go by quickly and almost painlessly. Thank you Johnny." She took his hand and held it in hers.

Johnny had put the knife down when Dix had grabbed his hand. He now put down the fork and looked around the table. "You shouldn't be thanking me, I should be thanking you. You've all made a rough time for me go much smoother than it would have had I been on my own." He picked up Dixie's hand and brought it to his lips. "I expecially want to thank Dixie McCall for waltzing into my life and taking over."

The group laughed.

"As of January first, Dixie will have a new phone number and address. The best part of this is, you already have that information." He had been looking at Dixie and not at the other guests when he said those words.

Kelly Brackett cleared his throat. "Well, John. Let's say we make the moving arrangements after we eat."

The group laughed again and Johnny started the meat.

It wasn't long until everyone had a little of everything on their plates. Every one that is, but Johnny. He was running back in the kitchen for the dinner rolls and butter. He then had to pour the wine for those who wanted it. He went back and forth several more times before Dixie stopped him and told him to sit. He still hadn't put any food on his plate.

"Eat, Johnny." Dixie said.

"Can't, too much to do." Johnny then headed back into the kitchen. Then sound of running water caught every one's attention.

"What's he doing?" Roy asked.

"Not eating." Dixie and Jo said at the same time.

"Go talk to him." Jo said to her husband.

"What do you want me to say?" Roy was baffled. He wasn't able to understand why his friend was acting the way he was.

"Just get him in here to eat before the foods all gone." Dixie said. She looked around the table and noticed that indeed, the food was close to being gone. She started filling Johnny's plate with meat, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans. She then served him some salad and put blue cheese dressing on it. "Hurry." She pleaded.

Roy walked into the kitchen and turned off the water. "Come on, Junior. Time for the host to eat."

"No time, Roy. Got too much to do." Johnny yanked his arm out of Roy's grasp.

"Nonsense." Roy stated. "Look, Dixie's made you a plate, please, come join the rest of us and enjoy the meal."

Johnny looked around the room at the mess that was there. It really wasn't as bad as it could be, but there were still a lot of dishes to be washed and food to be put away. "No, Roy. I really don't have time."

"Okay." Roy walked out of the kitchen and heard the water turn back on.

"Well?" Dixie looked at Roy.

"He said he's too busy to eat." Roy sighed. "I'm worried. He's nothing but skin and bones."

"I know." Dixie said. She stood and picked up the plate, "Well, you know what they say. Mohammad is goin' to the mountain." She strode purposely into the kitchen. Those in the dining room smiled when they heard Dixie read Johnny the riot act.

"Come on, guys. Let's help out." Hank said. He looked around at the mess. There wasn't any food left save for the ham. He sighed. "I'm surprised you left anything for Johnny."

"Hey, the pigeon chose not to eat." Chet said.

"Chet!" Hank snapped.

"What?" Chet looked confused.

"You ate more than anybody else. You kept asking for this and that. No wonder Johnny's in the kitchen. He had to go in there to get away from you and your demands." Marco said.

"So?" Chet sighed. He just didn't understand these people at times.

"So, you made a nuisence of yourself. You ate so much that there's nothing left but the small servings Dixie was able to put on a plate for Johnny, who spent from what I heard, most of yesterday and all of today cooking. You kept Johnny hopping back and forth, never giving the man a break. I think you owe Gage an apology." Hank said in his best 'Captain' voice.

"Aww Cap." Chet grumbled.

"Do it or latrine duty for the next six months." Hank said.

"But..." Chet started.

"Want to try for a whole year?" Hank looked at his fire fighter.

"No, Sir." Chet walked into the kitchen.

Dixie and Roy were standing beside Johnny watching him eat. He didn't look too happy.

"What do you want, Kelly." Johnny asked as he finished the small amount of food that had been on his plate. "Dessert?"

"No, uh, I wanted to apologize for making a pig out of my self and keeping you from getting to eat your fill." Chet turned and left the kitchen.

Johnny sighed as he felt his shoulders slump. "Boy am I beat."

"Why don't you go lie down on the couch and let us clean up?" Roy said.

"No! You're my guests. Guests don't clean up." Johnny protested.

"Dammit, Johnny!" Roy had had enough. "Look, we're your friends. We want to help you out. Now, let us or I'm going to get Brackett and have him slip you a Mickey."

Johnny slumped some more. He could barely keep his eyes open. "Okay." He gave in. Dixie led the man to the couch and helped him lie down. She pulled the afghan over his slender body and kissed his cheek. "You take a nap. Let us clean up. Then we'll open gifts."

They had left that for the last thing.

She's got a smile that heals me
Oh I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her anyway

Chapter Nine

The living room was littered with wrapping paper. Chris was in the kitchen looking for a big plastic garbage bag to put it all in.

"So, did you get everything you wanted?" Roy asked Jenny.