~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Johnny sat on the bench playing with his keys.  He'd changed into his uniform and was putting things away that had fallen out of the pocket of his jeans.  He sighed as he tossed the keys into the locker.

Roy dropped down next to his partner.  "I'm old, Johnny."  He said.

"Why do you say that?"  Johnny looked at his partner of five years.  Sure, Roy was two years older than he was, but he didn't think either of them were 'old'.  Old was his parents.

"Chris said I was old.  Actually, he called me his old man when he brought a new friend home yesterday."  Roy stood and opened his locker.  He pulled out his jacket and shrugged it on.  It had gotten cold as a cold front moved in.  "Yup, my twelve year old son called me his old man."

Johnny sat there quietly.  He really didn't know how to make his partner feel better.

Roy sighed and closed the door to his locker.  "We need to make a trip to Rampart soon."

"Okay."  Johnny stood and pulled on his jacket as well.  He pocketed his change and wallet before closing the door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Out in the day room, Chet Kelly was sitting at the table reading the newspaper while Marco Lopez fixed lunch.  "Hey Marco, dig this..."  He started folding the paper this way and that until it was just showing the article he'd been reading.  "It says here that today's kids have a severe problem with their vocabularies.  That they use more slang then our generation ever did and they're more liable to use foul language."

"Really?"  Mike Stoker said.  He'd been sitting by the television reading a mystery novel.

"Yeah." Chet smiled.  "You guys ever hear Johnny cuss?" 

"Well, once he said damn."  Marco said.  "When he got bit by that snake."

"And he's said hell a couple of times."  Mike added.

"Those aren't real cuss words.  I'm talking the big ones, like the 'B' word or the 'F' word."  Chet smiled. "I bet we can get Johnny to cuss, or better yet, I bet we can get Roy to cuss."

"How?"  Three voices asked as one.

"Just follow my lead."  Chet stood and walked out of the room rubbing his hands together.  He had something to plan and execute.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roy sighed yet again.

Johnny was getting tired of sitting next to the man.  "If you don't quit sighing, I'm getting out of the squad and walking back to the station."

Roy pulled over and looked at his partner.  "Just what is wrong with you?"

"You're what's wrong with me.  Dang it, what is your problem?  You've been sighing for the past two hours and it's driving me up the wall."

Roy sat there looking at his hands on the steering wheel.  "I'm sorry, Johnny.  I guess I'm just not in a good mood."

"Well that's no reason to drag me into your mood."  Johnny looked at the man he considered his best friend.  "Look, why are you so mad at what Chris said?  I mean, think about it, to Chris, you are old, heck, he probably even thinks I'm old."  Johnny splayed his right hand over his chest.

"No he doesn't.  Chris thinks you're cool.  He just thinks his father's old."  Roy put the squad in gear and pulled out into traffic.

Johnny sat back and thought about what his friend had said.  "I don't think you're old, Roy."  He spoke softly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that evening, Johnny was sitting on his bunk thinking.  He looked up when he heard footsteps. "Hey, Roy.  You call Jo?"

"Yeah.  She said the same thing you did.  We're going to talk to Chris tomorrow about his language."  Roy sat down on his bunk and sighed yet again.  He looked sheepishly at Johnny.  "Sorry."

"It's okay.  I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier."  Johnny stood.  "Buy ya a cup of coffee?"

"Sure."  Roy followed Johnny out to the day room.

Chet was sitting at the table looking through his '1001 Jokes, Pranks, and Tom-Foolery by I.M. Funnee' and giggling.  "This book is great."

"What'ch ya readin', Chet?"  Johnny asked as he walked over to the stove.  He picked up the coffee pot and frowned.  "Who didn't make more coffee?"

"Chet."  Mike Stoker said.  He was still sitting by the TV reading his novel.

Marco came in whistling.  "Any coffee?"

"Nope."  Johnny set about making more coffee mumbling under his breath about the ingrates who worked here.

"What's that you're saying there, Gage?"  Chet turned toward his co-worker.

"Nothing for your ears, Kelly."  Johnny set the pot on the stove and with the flick of the wrist turned the burner on.  He walked over to the table and snatched the book out of Chet's hand.  "Didn't know you could read, Chet."

This got a laugh out of all in the room.

"Give that back, Gage!"  Chet reached for the book.

Johnny smiled then held the book over his head.  He started giggling when Chet started hopping around trying to get the book back. 

"Dammit Gage, this ain't funny!"  He cursed as he jumped again trying to reach the book.

Roy stood and walked over to his partner.  "Let me see that."  He took the book from Johnny and started to thumb through it.  Chet reached out.  "Not so fast, Chet."  He then held the book aloft as he read.  "These are childish Chet."  He read another prank, "And this one could get somebody hurt."

Chet was pissed now.  He just couldn't reach.  He pulled a chair out and stepped up on the wooden seat.  "Give me back my book!"  He growled as he reached for the book.

Roy handed the book off to Johnny, who walked around to the other side of the table.

By now, Mike had joined in.  He took the book from Johnny and held it above his head.  "Hey, it's keep away from Chet time."

"Yeah!"  Johnny laughed.  "Come and get it!" He goaded Chet.

Chet jumped down from the chair and walked over to Mike who swiftly passed the book back to Johnny.  This time Johnny jumped up onto the chair.  "Let's see ya reach it now."

Roy backed up to stand against the refrigerator and watch what was happening.  He wasn't prepared for what happened next though.  No one was.

It happened as if in slow motion.  Chet jumped up and in.  This caused his bulkier body to slam into Johnny's thin body.  This in turn caused Johnny to loose his balance and start to fall off the chair.

"SHIT!"  Was all that was heard as Johnny fell.

No one really knew just who said that one word, but it was said none the less.

"Johnny, you all right?"  Roy knelt down by his fallen friend.

Johnny laid there with his eyes scrunched shut and his body tangled up in the chair.  He seemed to be having a hard time breathing.

Roy put his hand on Johnny's chest and gave a gentle rub.  "Take a slow, shallow breath, John."  He said.  "Mike, get the equipment.  Marco, get Chet up and out of the way."

In the process of falling, Johnny had placed his left hand on Chet's shoulder, this caused the shorter man to move closer to Johnny as he fell.  Therefore, Chet ended up on the floor on top of Johnny.  Chet, with Marco's help, stood up and brushed his hands off.  He looked down at Johnny's pain filled face and tried not to smile.

"What?"  Marco asked.

"He said it!"  Chet smirked.  "He said a bad word."

"How do you know?"  Mike asked as he set the equipment down.

Captain Stanley walked into the room.  "What happened this time?"

"Well, you see Cap,"  Chet started.

"I'll fill you in, Cap."  Mike led Hank over to the other side of the room and explained what happened.  "So, you see, we are all to blame for this one."

"Well, let's see how John's doing."  Hank walked back over and knelt down.  "How is he?"

"Bruised, had the wind knocked out of him.  But he's tough."  Roy grinned.  He looked at Chet.  "By the way, Chet, Mike was the one who said the bad word."

Chet groaned as Mike and Marco laughed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Johnny was checked out at Rampart and released several hours later.  He was told to go straight home.  He was sulking during the whole ride back to the station.  "Man, all because of a stupid joke...."  He trailed off.  "Hey, what was it about me saying a bad word?"

"Well, Mike explained it to me earlier.  It seems Chet's been trying to get both of us to cuss today.  He doesn't think you or I are capable of using foul language."

"Huh?  That doesn't make any sense.....oh, wait, we are talking about Chet Kelly."  Johnny rubbed his chest.  He was still very sore.

"Well, Mike said shit when you started falling, he said it loud enough to cover up your little slip of the tongue."  Roy smiled.

"What did I say?"  Johnny looked at Roy intently.  He thought back and turned red.  "Please, tell me he didn't hear me say that."

"I don't think he did."  Roy said.  "But I hope Cap never hears you say that word, or my kids for that matter."

"Well, I don't think you're old, and you know I don't cuss on a regular basis, so I think we're safe."  Johnny coughed as he continued to rub his chest.  "Damn that Kelly."  He coughed again.  "Hey, didn't Jenny have strep throat when I was over last weekend?"

"Yes, but she was on antibiotics."  Roy glanced over at Johnny.  "Please, don't tell me."

"I'm running a fever, Roy." Johnny sighed the leaned back.

"Well, don't get all cranky on me, then Chet will hear ME cuss."  Roy said as he backed the squad into the bay.  "Why don't you go change, and lie down on your bunk.  I don't think you want to be driving anyway.  I'll tell Cap.  He's already called in a replacement.  Maybe you can just stay here for the night and I'll take ya home in the morning." 

"Okay."  Johnny headed for the dorm and the nice warm bed.  He walked into the locker room and opened his locker.  He was promptly doused by one of Chet's water bombs.  He silently cursed his co-worker as he stripped off his now wet uniform.  He turned when he heard the door open.  Seeing his boss come in, Johnny sat down on the bench.  "Hi, Cap."

"How you feeling now, John?"  Cap asked.

"Wet, sick, sore."  Johnny pulled a towel out of his locker.  "I'm going to shower and see if I can warm up.  Can you ask Roy if he can bring me some aspirin.  I can't find mine."  Johnny then stepped into the shower.  He threw his boxers over the top of the shower door and turned on the water.  He knew that while he was running a fever, he didn't want the water really hot so he balanced the temperature until it was a little more than warm.  He leaned against the shower wall and let the water cascade over his back.  He had a fairly good sized bruise about mid back from the fall and across the back of his lower thighs from the chair.  He was really starting to feel the fall and the illness.  He was startled out of his reverie when Roy opened the shower door. 

"I put the aspirin in your locker along with a glass of juice.  I'll watch it until you're ready to get out of the shower."  Roy closed the door and walked over to the bench.  He practically growled when Chet came in.  "Haven't you done enough to him?"

"What?"  Chet walked over to his locker.  He saw the glass sitting in Johnny's locker and changed direction.  He went to reach for it and found his wrist grabbed.  "HEY!"

"Leave it alone Chet.  Leave Johnny alone.  He's sore, achy, and sick."  Roy got real close to the fire fighter.

"Okay, Roy.  Sheesh, a guy just can't have any fun around here."  Chet again turned towards his locker.

"Not at the expense of someone's health and well-being, Chet."  Roy said as he sat back down on the bench.

Johnny turned off the shower and pulled his towel off the door.  Wrapping the small rectangle around his slim hips, Johnny pushed open the shower door.  "Hey."  He plopped down on the bench and pulled a clean pair of boxers out of the bottom of his locker.  "Good thing I've learned to keep spares here." He stood and dried off.  He then pulled on the boxers and sat back down.  He watched as Roy opened the aspirin bottle and shook out two of the white powdery pills. 

"Here."  He handed them to Johnny along with the glass of ice cold grape juice.

"Thanks, Roy."  Johnny swallowed the tablets and drained the juice glass. He then pulled on a pair of sweats that he kept in his locker along with a long sleeve t-shirt.  He put his socks on and padded out to the dorm.  "Cap okay with me staying?"

"Yeah.  I told him that if it is strep, then we've all been exposed so we probably should plan on getting ourselves in to see Brackett tomorrow just to get tested."  Roy sat on his bunk and watched as Johnny crawled under the covers and curled into a ball. 

"Well, I feel terrible, Roy.  And if I got you all sick too..." He sneezed then snaked a hand out and opened the drawer in the side table he shared with Roy.  He pulled out a small box of tissue and pulled one out of the box.  He then snaked his hand back into the covers and ducked his head down.  Roy heard Johnny blow his nose.  Johnny then pushed his head back out and with the last amount of his energy and threw the used tissue into the small trash can under the table.

"You going to be all right?"  Roy asked as he stood.

"Could use some more juice."  Johnny yawned.

"Okay."  Roy walked out of the dorm and into the day room.  He poured a glass of juice just as Charlie Dwyer came in.  "Hey, Charlie."

"Roy."  Charlie watched as Roy filled the glass with ice and juice. "Who's that for?"

"Johnny."  Roy said. "Oh, you'll have to stay out here tonight.  Johnny might have strep and we don't want to expose you."

"Hey, don't worry about me.  I'm on antibiotics from that abscessed tooth so I'm covered."  Charlie smiled.

"I forgot about that.  You're still taking them?"  Roy picked up the glass to head back to the dorm.  He saw Chet come over.  "This isn't for you, Chet."  He growled.

"Back off Roy."  Chet walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a box of cookies.

"I still have another week.  I've been on them for almost three weeks now.  This should keep me safe from any nasty ol' germ Johnny's harboring."  Charlie headed out of the day room with Roy. 

The two walked into the dorm and stopped at the foot of Johnny's bunk.

"He looks like a kid."  Roy said.  He set the glass down on the table and shook Johnny's shoulder.  "Hey Junior."

Johnny poked his head out of the covers.  "Roy?

"Your juice is on the table.  If you need anything just let me know."  Roy patted Johnny's covered shoulder.  "Get some rest."

"'K."  Johnny tucked his head back into the covers and yawned.  "..'am kinda sleepy."  Came a muffled voice.

Roy and Charlie laughed softly.  Roy then led the way back into the bay. 

"Been busy today?"  Charlie asked as he and Roy started cleaning the squad.

"Not really.  That's probably why Johnny was playing keep away from Chet.  That's also why Chet tried to get Johnny and me to cuss."  Roy swiped the rag over the hood.

"That's how he fell?"  Charlie asked.

"Yeah."  Roy laughed.  "It was kinda funny.  It reminded me of when Chris was ten and he and his friends would play keep away from his sister.  Jenny would get so mad.  She tackled Chris once and gave the kid a bloody nose."

"Wow!"  Charlie said.  "What did you do?"

"Laughed."  Roy shrugged his shoulders.  "They're just kids.  I'm not worried.  They love each other and get along for the most part, so I'm not gonna punish them for goofing around.  If I did that, I'd have to ground Johnny too.  He instigates a lot of what those two get into trouble for."

Charlie and Roy laughed at that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Johnny slept through the three times the tones went off that night.  He wasn't too happy to be awakened in the morning either.

"Come on, Johnny.  Time to go get yourself checked over then home to rest."  Roy wrestled Johnny out of his bunk and into the locker room.  He then pulled Johnny's jacket on and helped him get his sneakers on.  He then put all of Johnny's clothes and uniforms into the gym bag along with his partners wallet, watch, and money.  He zipped the bag shut and got Johnny on his feet.

Johnny stumbled out of the locker room.  "Don't wanna go to the doctor, Roy.  I'm fine."

"Sure you are.  We're all going, Johnny.  Cap called and talked to Brackett.  We'll be in and out in no time."  Roy chivvied Johnny into his car and buckled his seat belt.  He then climbed in behind the wheel and started the car.

"What about my truck?"  Johnny asked.

"Don't worry about your truck, Johnny."  Roy pulled out into traffic and watched as four other cars followed suit.  They drove silently to Rampart. 

Roy helped Johnny out of the car and into the Emergency Department.  He looked around for a familiar face and saw Betty Parker.  "Hi Betty, is Dr. Brackett around?"

"He's waiting for you in five, Roy."  Betty smiled.  She had been told to expect the men from A-shift.

"Thanks, Betty."  Roy led all five men into treatment room five.  He looked at Brackett when he came in.  "He's the sickest."  He led Johnny to the exam table and helped him lie down on it.

Brackett walked over to Johnny.  "Not feeling too well huh?"  He asked his friend.

"I told Roy and I'll tell you, I'm fine."  Johnny tried to get down from the table and promptly toppled over.  Roy caught him and laid him back.

"You stay." He walked over to where Hank was and looked at his boss.  "I'll take him home.  It is sorta my fault he's sick."

"That's okay, Roy.  I'm sure you have enough going on at home."  Hank smiled at his senior paramedic.

"It's really no problem."  Roy looked over at Johnny who was having his temp taken.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Well, Johnny.  You are running a fever of a hundred and one.  Dixie's going to take a throat culture and some blood, but from the looks of it you have strep throat."  Kel Brackett put his stethoscope into his pocket and walked over to Roy.  "Let's take a look at all of you."

One by one Dr. Brackett and Dixie McCall checked over the men from Station 51's A-Shift.  The only other person showing any signs of strep was Roy DeSoto.

"Okay, here's the drill.  Johnny and Roy are out for two weeks.  Here's the prescriptions for the antibiotics.  I want to see the rest of you in four days.  After your next shift is fine.  If you're still not showing signs of strep then chances are, you aren't going to get it.  But if at any time between now and then you do start feeling sick, get back in here."  Brackett handed Roy his and Johnny's scripts then took his leave.

Roy walked over to Johnny.  "See, in and out in no time."

Johnny just bobbed his head.  He was too tired to argue that it had actually taken well over an hour.

"Uh, Roy?"  Hank looked at his paramedic.

"Yeah, Cap?"  Roy turned to face the taller man.

"What about the throat cultures?"  Hank asked.

"Well, generally, they call you within seventy-two hours.  But only if you show signs of the infection.  I wouldn't worry.  You're coming back in four days, if you don't hear anything from Brackett or Dixie, don't worry until you have to."  He looked at the other men gathered.  "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault, Roy."  Mike said. "Need a hand?"

"Well, I could use some help getting Johnny out to the car."  Roy gave Mike a small smile.

"I'll get you a wheelchair."  Mike walked out of the room glad he wasn't ill.

Roy wheeled Johnny out of the ER and to his car.  With Mike's help they got the groggy man into the car and buckled in.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roy pulled up to his house a little after ten.  He smiled when his wife came out to greet them.

"How is he?"  Joanne DeSoto asked.

"Sick."  Roy smiled.  He backed up when Jo came in for a kiss.  "And so am I."

"Oh, no, not you too."  She knew that if Roy was sick, then Chris would be next. "Well, let's get sleeping beauty into the house and tucked in, then we'll get you tucked in.  I got the kids off to school so no one else is here.  You just worry about getting the rest you need.  Did you get any medicine?"

"In Johnny's gym bag."  Roy unbuckled Johnny's seat belt then got out of the car.  He walked around to the other side.  Opening the door, Roy started speaking to his partner.  "Hey, Junior.  Time to get up."

Johnny moaned.  His throat was on fire and he was freezing.  He peeled open his eyes and saw that he wasn't at his apartment building but at Roy's house.  "Wanna go home, Roy."  He groaned.

"Well, let's see, since I'm the one that got you sick, I think I should be the one to get you well."  Roy manhandled Johnny out of the small car and into the house. He followed Jo down the hallway to the guest room.  He was glad that the main bedrooms were upstairs so that he could keep Johnny as isolated from the children as possible.  "Jo, can you get Johnny some grape juice?  Orange juice will hurt his throat."

"Sure, Roy.  Would you like grape or orange yourself?"  She asked as she pulled Johnny's dirty uniforms and jeans out of the bag.  "Phew!"  She put the clothes back in the bag and put the strap over her shoulder.

"Orange please."  Roy got Johnny settled into bed and tucked the covers around the thin body.  "You really need to gain some weight, my friend."  He closed the blinds and left his friend to rest.

Out in the living room, Jo waited for her husband.  She smiled at the tired man.  "Come on, Honey.  Let's get you to bed."

Roy smiled back as he pulled her into his arms. "Love you."  He kissed his wife.

"Hey!"  She laughed.  "Guess I probably have strep too anyway."  She kissed her husband deeply.  "Come on, hose jockey."

Roy followed his wife up the stairs and into his room.  He stripped down and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms before getting into bed.  He drank the juice Jo gave him then settled down to get some sleep.  He coughed twice before sleep claimed him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nine year old Jennifer DeSoto stood outside of the guest room she frowned at what she saw.  Sniffling, she wiped her nose then walked down the hall to the kitchen.  "Who's in the guest room, Mommy?"

"That's Uncle Johnny, sweetie."  Jo said.  Jenny had only attended her third grade class for half the day.  He class was going on a field trip and the nine-year old wasn't well enough to go along.

"What's wrong with him?"  Jenny climbed into a chair and put her elbows on the table.

"Strep throat.  Daddy has it too."  Jo said.

"Are they all right?"  Jenny asked.

"Yes, honey.  They just need to rest.  Remember how bad you felt when you were sick last week?"

"Yes."  Jenny said.  "I felt very bad.  Couldn't sleep, throat hurt, was achy all over."

"Well, Uncle Johnny is feeling that way now and Daddy will be soon." Jo set a glass of juice on the table in front of the little girl.

"Oh."  She sipped her juice while she worked on her school work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Johnny groaned as he woke up.  Shifting, he looked around the darkened room.  He pushed the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  "Aww, man."  He saw the glass of juice on the side table and picked it up.  He was just sipping at the sweet, cool drink when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

Jo walked into the room.  "You hungry, Johnny?"

"Not really."  Johnny's voice sound raspy.  He cleared his throat.  "Man that hurts."

"I know.  I have some hot tea and some tomato soup for you."  She brought a tray over to the side table.  "You need to eat.  Roy said you haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday."

Johnny pushed the pillows around and then leaned back against the headboard and put his legs under the covers.  Jo pulled the covers up and placed her hand on Johnny's forehead.  "Still running a fever there, Junior."

Johnny scowled at her use of the nickname.  He gave her a pale imitation of his usual crooked grin and shrugged.  "Sorry."

"Well, you drink the soup and tea while I get you your medicine and some aspirin."  Jo placed the tray over Johnny's lap.  "Be right back."

"Thanks Jo.  How's Roy?"  Johnny asked as he sipped the warm, creamy soup.  "Good."

"He's eating soup and complaining of the aches in his body."  She winked.  "I'll be right back."

"Okay."  Johnny went back to sipping his soup and tea.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roy sat on the couch grousing.  He wanted to watch TV but Jo was vacuuming.  "Come on, Jo can't you do that later?"

"Chris is going to be home in fifteen minutes.  I'm almost done.  When he gets home, I want to have this done so that I can help him with his homework."  Jo turned back on the vacuum.

Johnny came padding softly down the hallway. He was wrapped up in a blanket.  "Hey Jo?"  He tried to call out.

Roy frowned when he saw his partner.  Standing, he walked over to Johnny. "You need to be in bed."

Jo shut off the vacuum and wiped her brow.  She turned to unplug the appliance and saw Johnny standing in the middle of the living room looking absolutely awful.  "Oh, Johnny. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"That's okay.  I needed to go to the bathroom anyway."  Johnny turned and headed back down the hall to the guest bathroom.

"Go take care of your partner, Roy.  You know you want to."  Jo smiled. 

Christopher DeSoto, twelve, came storming through the front door.  He was five foot five and weighed a hundred and twenty pounds.  He was growing rapidly and had become somewhat of a klutz.  "Hi Mom."  He called as he ran through the living room and into the kitchen.  "What's to eat?"

Jo followed her son picking up the jacket, book bag, and sneakers that he'd dropped in his quest for food.  "There's an apple and a glass of milk waiting for you."

"An apple?  Geesh, Billy gets cookies and cake when he gets home, Monty gets to eat whatever he wants."  Chris plopped down in his chair at the table.

"Well, you aren't Bill or Monty and I am not their Mothers.  An apple and milk or nothing."  Jo put the book bag on the chair next to her son.  "Also, you dad is sick and he's taking care of Uncle Johnny, so you need to settle down and keep the noise down."

"Uncle Johnny's here?"  Chris asked.  "How come?"

"Because he's sicker than your father and couldn't be left on his own.  You know how bad he gets when he's sick or injured."  Jo sat down across from her oldest child.

"What they have?"  Chris took a big bite of apple and chewed it thoughtfully.  He opened up his book bag and took out his English book. 

"The same thing as your sister had last week.  Strep throat."

"That sucks."  Chris said as he opened the book to the required page.  He then pulled his notebook out of the same bag and opened it.  "I hate grammar."

"I know, but you need it in order to speak and write correctly."  Jo told the boy.

"You sound just like my teacher."  Chris slouched in his chair.

"Sit up straight Christopher."  Jo admonished her son.

"Yes, Ma'am."  He finished the apple and milk, then packed up his books and took everything upstairs.  "Where's Dad now?"

"In the guest room checking on Johnny."  Jo called to her boy.

"Thanks."  Chris ran up the stairs and into his room.  He dropped his stuff on the floor and toes off his loafers.  He changed into a pair of jeans and pulled a torn tee over his head as he ran out the door and down the stairs.

"DON'T RUN IN THE HOUSE!"  Jo called to the lumbering boy.

"Sorry."  Chris called back.  He skidded to a halt outside the guest room door.  Knocking, he waited for permission to enter before opening the door.

"Hi Chris."  Roy said.  He was sitting on a chair by the bed reading a book. 

Johnny was lying under the covers with them pulled up to his chin.  He was half asleep.  "Hey Slugger."

"Hi, Uncle Johnny.  Boy, you look like shit."  The boy said as he sat down on the foot of the bed.

"CHRISTOPHER!"  Roy yelled.

"What?"  Chris looked at his father.

"What's with the cussing?  I don't talk like that, Uncle Johnny doesn't talk like that, and your mother most definitely doesn't talk like that."  Roy was turning red.  He then started coughing.

Johnny came instantly awake and walked over to Roy.  "Take slow breaths, Roy.  Chris go get your Dad some water."

"Okay."  Chris went across the hall and filled a glass with water and took it back to his Dad.  "Here you go Dad."

Roy drank the water slowly and got his breathing under control.  "We'll talk about your mouth later, young man."  He glared at the boy.

"Yes, Sir."  Chris left the room. 

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, Johnny."  Roy said.

"Hey, I thought I was part of this family.  If one of the kids gets out of line, don't worry about me hearing you discipline them.  I understand."  Johnny crawled back under the covers.  "You should go sack out 'til dinner."

"I think I will.  Thanks, Johnny." Roy picked up his book and left the room to go back to bed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two weeks later:

Johnny walked into the bay carrying a bag.  He smiled as he passed Mike.  "Mornin'."

"Good morning, Johnny."  Mike said.

Johnny continued into the locker room.  He set the bag down on the bench and opened his locker making sure to stay out of the line of fire. He was amply rewarded with a dry shirt.  He put on his uniform and placed the paper bag into his locker.

Chet Kelly walked into the room.  He was still determined to get both Roy and Johnny to cuss in front of at least one other crew member.  He watched Johnny change.  "What's in the bag, Gage?"

"None of your business, Kelly.  Keep yer nose out of my locker today.  No more water bombs either.  I find one, and I'll rip your head off."

"Geesh, you don't have to be so violent."  Kelly changed into his uniform then left the room.  He was going to find out what was in that bag.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roy smiled.  "You get it?"  He asked his partner as they stood next to the squad checking over the supplies and equipment.

"Yeah. I got it.  You owe me thirty bucks, partner."  Johnny smiled.

"That much huh?"  Roy cringed.  "Where'd you find it?"

"A little shop up the coast."  Johnny put the drug box back and picked up the clipboard from the floor.  "We need some stuff."

"Okay."  Roy turned to put the biophone back in the squad and then closed the door.  He walked to the captain's office.  "We're going to Rampart, Cap."

"Okay, Roy."  Hank said.  He turned back to his never ending supply of paperwork.

They left for the hospital leaving Chet still wondering what was in that bag.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Chet opened Johnny's locker and pulled the bag out. He made sure he was alone before opening it and peering inside.  A strange look came over his face as he pulled out what looked like road kill.  He frowned.  "What the hell is this?"  He asked the empty room.

Captain Stanley walked into the locker room.  "What do you think you are doing, Kelly?"

"Nothing, Cap."  Chet dropped the furry thing and put the bag back into Johnny's locker.  He pushed the door closed then headed out of the room.

"Hold it, Kelly.  What were you doing in Johnny's locker?  I thought we had a talk about you getting into people private property."

"I'm sorry, Cap.  It's just that Johnny brought in this bag and he wouldn't tell me what was in it.  I just had to look."  Chet knew he was sunk.

"I catch you in anybody else's locker and I'll suspend you.  Is that clear?"  Hank was very mad at the fire fighter.

"Yes, Sir."  Chet walked out of the room looking like a whipped puppy.  He slunk into the day room and sat on the couch.

Johnny and Roy came into the day room thirty minutes later.  Johnny had the bag in his hands and was laughing.  "I'm sure it'll work, Roy."

"I don't know, Junior.  Remember what happened the last time?"  Roy put two steaming cups of coffee on the table and sat down.  He watched as Johnny played with the bag, batting it back and forth with his hands. "Will you stop playing with that!"

"Sorry."  Johnny pushed the bag to the middle of the table and took a sip of coffee.  He jumped up.  "Shoot.  Be right back, I was supposed to call Marilyn ten minutes ago."  He rushed out of the room.

Roy stood more sedately and followed his partner.  They walked to Captain Stanley's office quietly.  "Hey Cap."  Johnny dropped down on the edge of his bosses desk.

"Get off Gage."  Hank pushed the younger man off his desk.

"Sorry, Cap."  Johnny grinned.  "You think he fell for it?"

"I sure hope so.  He's been bugging everyone about how he's going to get you two to cuss.  I tried to tell him that it wouldn't work.  But that man is stubborn."  Hank smiled.  "So, John, what's in the bag?"

"Road kill." Johnny grinned.  "Not real road kill, but with this neat little device..."  he pulled a small black radio control unit out of his jacket pocket, "I'll have that boy screaming like the girl he is."

All three men laughed at that joke.

"Gentlemen, it's time."  Johnny said.  He led the way out of the office and to the day room.  They walked in separately.  Johnny sat on the couch after picking up the newspaper.  He rattled it around until it was in the right position to hide the control unit.  He flipped it on and waited.

Roy sat at the table opposite Mike and Marco.  Chet was eyeing the bag.  Suddenly, the bag started rattling.  All eyes turned to the brown paper as it started moving across the table.

"What's with the bag, Gage?"  Mike asked.

"Beats me, why?"  Johnny shrugged.

"It's moving!"  Chet said.  He couldn't take his eyes off the paper bag. 

They all watched as the bag tipped over and what was in it started moving out of the bag.  Chet's eyes got bigger as the furry thing he'd seen earlier made it's way towards him.  He gulped audibly as it got closer.  "Uh, Gage."

"What's wrong, Chet?"  Johnny remained sitting on the couch where he was operating the toy.

"Whatever was in that bag is making it's way across the table."  He stammered.

"Oh.  Really?"  Johnny sat up as if to see what his fellow fire fighter was talking about.  He let a grin come over his face as he maneuvered the toy raccoon across the table and towards Chet.  He used deft movements and with a flick of his left thumb, the raccoon came sailing off the table and landed on Chet's chest.  The toy started snarling at that time.

"AHHH, GET IT OFF!!! GET THIS FUCKIN' THING OFF ME!!!" Chet bellowed.

Everyone in the room stopped laughing.  They looked over at Johnny.  He turned off the remote control and in doing so, the toy fell off Chet.  Roy reached over and picked it up and started stroking it as if it were a real live animal.  "You killed it, Chet."  He growled.

Mike and Marco joined Roy and each reached over and gave the toy a stroke.  "How could you, Chet?  How?" Marco asked.

Captain Stanley came over.  "Kelly?"  He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, Sir?"  Chet gulped.

All five of the men smiled then.  "GOTCHA!" Johnny smiled.

Chet looked around the room.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, about two weeks ago a certain person made a statement that he could get two certain paramedics to cuss by shifts end.  Well due to injury and illness, he had to put his plans to rest for a while.  It seems he didn't think that maybe the paramedics would find out about it and maybe come up with their own plan."  Johnny explained.

Chet turned red and stood up.  "YOU SET ME UP!"  He bellowed.

"Now, calm down Kelly."  Hank towered over Chet. "Johnny was only getting you back for the many water bombs and flour bombs and itching powder and the egg in his helmet and all the other pranks you've pulled on him during the past few years.  And I have to admit, he did get you to cuss." 

Chet stood there thinking.  "I did not cuss."  He claimed.

"Oh yes you did.  See, we figured if you did indeed cuss, then you'd deny it.  So, Mikey here recorded the whole incident.  Wanna do the honors?"  He turned to Stoker.

"With pleasure."  Mike turned on the tape recorder and let it all play out.  When it got to where Chet screamed, they all heard the curse word that came out of Chet's mouth. 

"I'm sorry."  He apologized.  "That was good, Gage.  But you understand, this means war."  He stomped out of the room to all his shift mates laughter.

"Okay, let's put the toy away, John.  Everybody has their chores to do still."  Hank shook his head as he headed back to his office.

"Good job, Johnny."  Marco clapped Johnny on the back as he headed to the sink to start preparing a shopping list.

"Yeah, Johnny.  You did good."  Mike left to do his chore.

Roy sat on the table and watched as Johnny put the toy back in the bag.  "I still can't believe you paid thirty dollars for that thing."

"Well, I think it was worth it."  Johnny rolled the top of the bag down and headed for the locker room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Chris DeSoto sat on the picnic bench while he watched Jenny and Johnny play with the raccoon in the yard.  He flinched when his father sat down next to him. 

"Hi Chris."

"Hi Dad."  Chris still hadn't been punished for his cussing two weeks prior.  He knew that the boom was about to be lowered on his slender shoulders.

"Your mother and I have discussed this at length, Son.  You know how we feel about foul language, right?"  Roy looked at his boy and marveled at how much it was like looking in a mirror.

"Yes, Sir.  I'm really sorry, Dad.  It's just that all my friend talk like that."  Chris tried to make a case.

"Not good enough, Christopher.  If all of your friends said they were going down to Huntington Beach and surf the pipe in thirty foot waves, would you join them?"  Roy reasoned with his son.

"Heck no!  That would be suicide."  Chris sat up straighter.  He gave his father a sheepish look. "I get ya, Pop.  No more cussing." He sighed.  "I guess I still have some growing up to do, huh?"

"You sure do, but you're doing a fabulous job.  Now, another thing.  I do not want you hear you call me 'Old Man' ever again. You will not refer to me as 'your old man' or introduce me as such ever again, is that clear?"  Roy ruffled his son's sun streaked blonde hair.

"Yes, Sir.  I'm sorry about that, Dad.  I guess I just wasn't thinking.  Huh?"  He looked out at where his sister was playing.  "Why do my friends talk like that?"

"That's easy, Chris.  The shock value.  You boys are at an age where you're pushing the limits, and one of those ways is to cuss.  To talk down to your friends, family, and even strangers.  You think it's fun to use those words because of the shock value.  Not all adults talk like that, Son.  Those who do, never learned better.  There are better ways to express anger, disappointment, and frustration other than cussing.  I had hoped that I and your mother were setting a good example for you and your sister."  Roy looked over to where Chris was looking and smiled.  "Even your Uncle Johnny sets a good example."

"Sometimes."  Roy and Chris said at the same time.  They both laughed.

Johnny and Jenny ran up the steps of the deck.  "What's so funny?"  Johnny asked.

"You are." Roy and Chris again spoke at the same time.

Johnny just stood there shaking his head and frowning.

Jo came out carrying a pitcher of lemonade and glasses filled with ice.  "Since it's finally warmed up, I thought we'd have lunch out here today."  She poured Jenny a glass of the sweet-tart drink then went back into the house.

"I'll help you, Mom."  Chris jumped up from his seat and followed her into the house.

"He's a good kid, Roy.  You and Jo, well, you're doing one heck of a job raising him."  Johnny slapped his friend on the back and took his glass of lemonade over to the lounge chairs and laid down in one.  He pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on his face.  He didn't want anyone to see his eyes.

"What's wrong with Uncle Johnny?"  Jenny asked.

"Nothing, Sweetie.  Why don't you go wash up for lunch."  Roy patted his daughter on the rump as he pushed her gently towards the door.

"Okay, Daddy."  Jenny ran into the house calling out for her mom.

Roy picked up his glass and walked over to where Johnny was.  "You okay, Junior?"

"Yeah, Roy.  I will be."  Johnny sighed.  "I wish I had a father like you."

"I.."  Roy sat down on the chair next to Johnny's.  "Thanks."  Was all he could say.

"Like I said, Roy.  You aren't an 'Old Man'."  Johnny sipped some of his drink.

Roy sat back with a smile on his face.  He knew in his heart that he had made a good friend, and had shown his son respect over the years and now he was reaping the rewards of his hard work.  "Thanks, Junior."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The end.